#honestly their dynamic is so hard to explain because in my mind

[mercymaker]

8 and 22 for malstarion if they haven’t been asked yet!

Romance Asks

8. What are their most prominent memories of each other?

For Maleane, the one that truly made her experience all five stages of grief in like 0.0024 seconds all at once, was when they were in Cazador's dungeon and she saw Astarion get ragdolled away to be sacrificed for the ascension ritual. For just a brief moment, she thought it's over and it absolutely terrified her. It was the "oh fuck, I don't want to wake up in the world where you're not there" moment. The "I didn't realize how much you mean to me and now it's too late" moment. The "gods, I won't even get a chance to tell you how much I love you" moment. Ice cold shard, right through the heart.

For Astarion, I think it was when she killed for him. When she took someone's life, weighed it against his wants, and decided that his wishes mattered more than someone's existence (it did work out in the end, somehow, as Yurgir joined their fight, so 🤷). But that act kind of solidified his feelings for her and soon after he confessed.

22. From the outside looking in, what is their dynamic like? 

They're fun, they're complicated, they're two idiots in love.

At times, it feels like Astarion holds all the cards because he's much more experienced than her, but then they're around other people and while he can flirt his way through a crowd, Mal can spin others like a fine silk thread between her fingers, and make them dance on that same string like puppets. So yeah, she's not entirely powerless!

When it comes to neat little 'boxes' there's so much fun stuff to throw them in. "The dude was a magistrate used to finery & the drow hermit that lived her whole live in the woods". "The victim of unimaginable torture & someone who was traumatized by witnessing unimaginable torture". "The vampire & the witch". "The virgin & the slut", etc.

[clamorybus]

i know "kids showing respect" usually means "shutting up and doing what their told", but my niece genuinely has no respect for her mother. its kinda fucked up to see, but it's my sister in law's fault; she just has no backbone, and has set no boundaries for that child

[understandableparadox]

a comprehensive list of everything wrong with hazbin hotel.

quick note before i lose myself in madness, my standards for helluvaboss are non existent because its a free show on youtube. also i kinda like helluvaboss and i will indulge in any bias i damn well please.

oh and spoilers. i guess.

the greater narrative of the entire season is "White lady civilize inner city hoodlum". ex: The blind side. rich girl, affluent family yadda yadda.

the story is set up to be like amphibia, owl house, svtfoe, steven universe, that being starting as something episodic then transforming into story driven narrative. why? because we know the benefits and drawbacks, episodic starts allows us to wander the world, it allows us to understand the dynamics, we are not forced to reckon with anything because there is no deadline. characters are allowed to bloom and shine and the audience can actually get attached.

the source material is Vary Clearly formed from remnants of something out of a middle school edgelord narrative. the usage of transformation, the big spooky grins, the "and then i smile as my eyes glow and-"-isms which in most cases i don't mind because in some instances but in a vary Particular case its astoundingly annoying and that annoyance is like a mold, shit spreads quick.

the color Red. as a lover of homestuck cherubs and karkat and aradia, as someone who fucking loves the color red, it is so painful to say but holy shit tone it the fuck down, i know its hell but their are so many other colors that you can use, its everywhere, the streets, the air, the windows, the screens, the characters, i know the pride ring is represented with red but change up the palates every so often for backgrounds

the rush, this ties into the second point made but i think the story itself is rushed. we know everything way to early. i know way to much and it makes it hard to care about anything because im still trying to digest the last chunk of info. "oh ok, so they clear out hell once a year. oh hell has a heaven embassy? ok. oh that adam the angel, i though he wou- oh its every 6 months now. wait the exterminators die a lot? then why is everyone sca- people in hell already have weapons that can kill angels? w- oh we are in heaven now, ok ma- no one in heaven except for the elites know the exterminations occur? how do-" and its that, just this incessant rush to explain everything to you. notably that's just the god damn spark notes, we need to know everything about the characters now, every single bit of their story, their insecurities, what charlie needs to fix, how she can fix them, the major bad guys, everything. you are never allowed to dwell on a character because we need to rush towards something else. it almost feels like this should have been like... season three, it would have been a fantastic season three if you dropped the introductions honestly.

the concept of redemption. for a story of redemption to work you need to look at three things. What is there crime, Do they want to change, What is preventing them from changeing? there is only one single character that has a notable path of redemption, angel dust, but if you look through their story it feels off. What Exactly is he guilty of? he has sex, does drugs and drinks. his apparent nymphomania is tied to his sad backstory as someone forced into the sex industry so how is that their fault? then if you think about it you start to spiral and notice "hey why are most of these people in hell?" like sure some of them may deserve punishment but then you see the fucking dichotomy and its like "I was a inventor in england and died of the fucking plague, i may have made evil little contraption hoohoohoo" vs "I was a cannibal, a full on cannibal, i fucking killed people and ate them and then someone shot me". ONE OF THESE THINGS ARE A LITTLE MORE FUCKING EXTREME. i'm going to go fucking nuts, the thing they went to heaven with when presenting a case to angels on the idea that redemption and becoming a better person is actually real was angel dust not drinking at a party and not having sex with consenting adults and i want to go fucking insane. WHAT IS THE CRIME, WHO IS THROWING THE BOOK, WHAT DOES THE BOOK INTEL, ARE WE ON GOOD PLACE RULES?! half the cast dont Need redemption they need fucking help, and the other half of the cast do need redemption but they do not seek it making the point moot. sir pentious acts like he has the brain of a hyper intelligent toddler tossing about toys, its almost like he did his one bad thing of spying and then got caught, sank his little diddy about forgiveness and second chances and become a null point through out the rest of the series, sure their was Some weight to him sacrificing himself, he was a decently funny character and he had good moments but him popping up in heaven felt like a fore gone conclusion, he didn't deserve to be in hell so why do i care that he is suddenly in heaven? because its working on the concept the good place already made. no one actually deserves eternal punishment they just need help processing what makes them a dick, but instead of looking at all the parts of the afterlife that make it bad, inefficient and then creating and trying ideas to see if it work instead over a few seasons, we crash dick first into all the major plot points in regards to that and say "tada, we fixed it.".

having a sub-plot about sexual assault and its victims then having multiple sexual assault related gag ruins your point.

don't make a bunch of stereotypically jewish characters into cannibals, that was a big thing, really shouldn't have to say it.

if you are going to make a character black, make them black, you can say alastor was black but sweet seren-fucking-dippity that's not a black man.

pot meet kettle but yeah the cursing could be a little less liberal. maybe just blue hair or the pronouns, not both.

there is a very distinctive art deco/jazz aesthetic which normally i love but i feel as though it is not used to its full extent and in some cases really hurts the character design in and of itself.

this is a vary obvious bit but the story is a million times more interested in gay men then it is of lesbians, which culminates in this insane thing where the writers clearly have more talent or perhaps it would be more abt to say practice writing male gay pining then they are with lesbian pining. which i personally think is hilarious because i did not know you could min max fujoshi-ism that hard.

this next section is more to do with each character on a fundamental level, for the sake of brevity whatever there is left, i'm just doing ones with speaking roles.

13. Charlie:

(see what i mean about that red thing?)

as originally stated charlie fits rather comfortably into every white saviour narrative, though that seems to be part of her joke. though i'm not entirely sure how much of a joke it can be when its rewarded and expected to advance the plot.

her character design says nothing, it has the motif of old puppets or dolls, she wears something vaguely similar to service suits, her demonic form is just some extra horns.not to say every character needs to have their life on a clothes rack but some more snake and goat imagery would be nice

its not the chol design of charlie with snake hair, not an actual problem but its a problem to me, damn you @cholvoq for ruining my ability to look at any of the characters without wishing i was seeing your designs instead.

character wise aside from the white savoir bit, i'm having a bit of trouble understanding what the arc of the character is. she is shown to be naive, someone who doesn't understand how the world works but everytime she says something its something astoundingly clear like "people can actually get better". and its treated like someone demanded faygo in every water fountain. is the joke that the world around her to cynical or is so to naive? please pick one or the other.

now if you know me, you know i fucking hate overpowered characters with a blinding passion, one that would set alit the god damn abyss but in this one special instance, i feel like its warranted, she's the direct descendant of fucking God, she can swing her weight around a little, i mean god damn. she in so many instances looks like shes cowering so often, why would the daughter of lucifer get backed down by some rando pimp? why wasn't she the one to fight adam? sure you can say she is young but how young? her parents were there since pre-abrahamic times, most of the characters showed up in hell in the 1900s, some of them showed up in the 1600s, how old is charlie??? how long does it take for her to learn how to be strong? The story does not suffer if charlie is strong and knows she is strong. it can easily be a case of "i don't believe in violence to a weird degree". fit it into her apparent naivety about the world to believe that violence is never the answer even when dealing with a being that is unilaterally horrible and abusive and monstrous.

she ga- no im kidding, i do think her romance was waysided a bit, it would have been fine to have more scenes of them togather and in love you know?

14. Vaggie

why did you name the lesbian vaggie...? Don't do that maybe?

I like how her design is almost moth like but again i feel as though you could have amped that up.

she feels as though someone tried to combine undyne and pearl from steven universe, same story beats and design elements. it makes it hard to really distinguish her as a character.

i honestly dont have much to say about her. she is fine.

christ kill me, lets just get the big one out of the way

15. Alastor.

God Damn

where to start.

"alastor is mixed race" mixed with fucking what? concrete? there is not a single black feature on that creature, now im not saying you have to make him a png of louie armstrong but it wouldn't hurt to add a curl to the hair maybe? make it a tiny bit more wavy? Something? a crumb i beg of thee?

his symbolism is all over the god damn place, native american monsters (you know the one), voodoo, radio, puppets, stitches, circuses??? and Tentacles i guess. two of those are from closed religions so if you dumped those you would actually get a more concise character focused on the concept of vox populi as a means of societal control and influence as we see in his first song. but again that gets drowned out repeatedly by all the other random toy box bits shoved into him.

tumblr sexy man bait

he serves no purpose in the story. he does spooky stuff, pretends to do things and then goes back to sitting around looking spooky. i understand that his motif is supposed to be aloof mastermind but maybe have him do more mastermindy things? if you remove most of alastors scenes, bar the songs, it doesn't change all to much. husk and nifity can still be at the hotel, they could be looking for outs in their contracts the same as angel dust. hell it even helps with the one scene where he dose some spooky shit, asking charlie for a favor in exchange for his help in the fight with the angels instead of asking him about angel weapons which should have remained a strictly vaggie scene.

his presence in a way delegitimize the story, as I noted in in the section regarding redemption, the three parts are "what is the crime, do they want to change, what is stopping them?" and alastor kinda just spits in the face of that. he is a serial killer cannibal that has no qualms about how evil he is and apparently must continue being evil due to being under the control under someone legitimately called the Root Of All Evil. show him take a slight interest in the idea that maybe shit for him could be better, make him Want Change at the bare fucking minimum or dont have him at the hotel.

his stupid little fucking horns, big shot the troll liker wants characters to have big fucking horns, make them noticeable or dont have them.

he looks more like a dog boy, which could have been an interesting thing with the collar motif but fuck me i guess.

personal pet peeve but i fucking hate characters that have a million plus powers, stick to a set number, be creative.

im getting more petty as i go on so last point: he could have been in less episodes, he didn't need to be in dad beat dad, that should have been just a lucifer and charlie episode. inverse the red and black and i think he would be fucking great color wise, his body type is the same as ten different characters, he isnt radio enough, aside from the voice and and staff if you told me he was the fucking Cat Demon i would have been just as convinced.

16. Angel Dust

what the fuck, gay spider? its hard to actully articulate all the thoughts i have on angel dust, not in the sense that he is a deeply thought provoking character but in the fact that there is not much meat on the bones.

all around i think angel dust is kinda middling. he has a decent enough romance with husk, he has a decent enough story line that revolves around battling addiction and removing yourself from an abuser (which the story tries to brand as "Redemption???")

I dont like that most of his jokes would qualify as sexual harassment, i don't mind him being sexual as a character but continuing on when clearly someone doesn't like the jokes hurts the character.

not a critique but he is pink, which honestly ill fucking take at point, as long as its not more fucking red.

i think his design is an improvement over some of the old vivzie designs but it feels like it could have done with going a few more rounds of design changes.

same thing with alastor, charlie and vaggie, there is not enough of the animal that they are supposed to be. You could have told me angel dust was a fucking bee or something and i would have had to believe you. nothing about angel dust initially says spider, hell he dosent even have enough limps to be a fucking spider.

17. Carmilla carmine

are... are you supposed to be a rabbit...?

Big Yoai Hands

ballet fighting style, could have been cool, wish she fought more like sanji or chun li.

A single mom that works to hard, who loves her kids and never stops-

her song was decent, not great, decent. it feels as though the actress has experience singing but not in the way they tried to make her sing during her two songs. they have a obvious mexican influence, honestly just let her sing in spanish in the english dub. go listen to the spanish dub, "out for love" sounds great in spanish.

i wish i had more thoughts on them, fucking rip.

18. cherri bomb

that's not a punk aesthetic that's 2010s alt

decent character, they showed up once or twice i guess, no real thoughts.

19. egg boiz

absolutely perfect, i have not notes on them, these are perfect creatures.

20. Emily

im so fucking happy to see a singular blue character

does the naive dreamer bit better then charlie

We really shouldnt have seen her until the end of season two or middle of three.

good contrast with the other angels on screen.

Wait she is supposed to be black??? Where???

21. Husk

keith david you absolute delight, Why on gods green earth did they only give you one singing part?

one of the few charecters where its clear husk is a cat, i do like the kinda... marquee design, he is a magic cat, thats neat. i still think you can toss the wings and eyebrows and still have just as good of a charecter.

has a deeply intresting story of someone who died as a nobody, became the fat cat of hell and then was forced back to the bottom by their own vices, not used at fucking all.

huge potential, little pay off.

22. lillith

I know nothing about her except she ditched her kid and husband to vacation in heaven and i think thats kinda funny.

alot of werid things floating around her, again she shouldnt have been shown in the show at all until next season.

23. lucifer morningstar

no notes, funniest charecter, did a song based on friend like me.

few notes: i do like the idea that the immortal symbol of pride is a constant emotional wreckage constantly seeking approval through grand showmanship and manic energy that threatens to take over anything they touch.

would have liked more snake stuff on him, maybe some more goat things like horns.

that is such a stupid fucking staff lmao.

24. Adam.

alex brightman you absolute fucking delight, you should have had more songs.

I wish his design was more focused on the idea of him being a glam rock wash up

I fucking hate his mask

We shouldn't have met him until the end of the season.

25. Niffty

again she is supposed to be a bug or cockroach but nothing about her points to that.

token straight

keeps rocketing back and fourth between sexulization and infantilization

you had kimiko glenn but didnt give her a single fucking song?

26. Sir Pentious

the secret season one redeemed.

the pilot version of him felt more like someone that could do a season one redemption arc, a megalomaniac constantly attempting territory grabs, there is something you can work with, actual character flaws to work through.

essentially a child after the first episode.

actually a snake which i appreciate.

no where near steampunky enough.

27. the villians of the show dont make much sense, each one feels like they should be season long deals on their own instead of a bunch of team rocket esque idiots that show up on occasion, do a bad thing and then leave.

28. Valentino

gOD THERE IS SO MUCH RED

only a moth some of the time.

sucks as a villain, maybe they need more screen time to show why they suck in a more substantial way aside from being told that he sucks.

it is interesting that angel dust is only under his magical control when in the studio, it shows that angel dust has to make a conscious choice to return, which in turn can be made to show how abusers can draw back their victims. I do not think it was done well in this circumstance as it shows him to be cartoonishly evil, constantly flying back and fourth between sweet and utter psycho, there is no actual reason for angel dust to ever actually go back to the studio, he just does so every so often.

29. Vox

legit who cares? the only thing about him that is in any way substantial is all the dope ass fan art we get.

propaganda machine angle that is not explored at all, just hinted at. no actual barring on the story whatsoever.

why didn't he try to do the same shit as alastor by the way? he knows its bad if alastor gets in good with charlie so shouldn't it be a ass kissing race?

same body shape as literally every other male character.

tumblr sexy man version of pyrocynicals fursona.

30. Valvette

the actual poster child of the shows huge problem of "Show me, don't tell me".

apparently the glue that holds the villains together. never shown.

apparently the one that makes the love potions that valentino is famous for. had to learn about that in the fuckin wiki trivias

we know so much about her from things outside of the show.

was there to call carmilla a coward, that's her plot contribution. she shows up every now and again but its never anything substantial and serves to more around take up run time for people We Don't Need To Know Yet.

im not trying to be mean, animation is animation, we need smaller studios to have success in the industry so that other indie studios can have that success, felling a tree makes it easier for others to follow. showing that its possible to number brain rot exacs helps all animators.

but this show has so much bullshit attached to it, it has so much fucking potential that it fries my brain with unyielding frustration.

this took a bit to write, im tired, thanks for reading.

[justastraymoa]

Unwilling Alpha

Chapter 3

Masterlist taglist

Hard conversations and 1st meal with the Omegas.

Warnings ⚠️ swears, abo dynamics, mentions of slave trade, mentions of rape, mentions of abuse, mentions of death, fear, manipulation.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl

There was one open seat left in the living room. An oversized, overstuffed chair. I moved around the others, not missing the way they leaned towards me to sniff as I passed by. I wanted to hug myself and hide. It was very weird to be sniffed so openly.

Felix sat close to Chan, still not looking up. Chan had an arm over his lap.

“Anyone here not completely convinced y/n is their Alpha? Our Alpha?” Chan asked.

I looked around the room, no one spoke up or raised their hand.

"None of the other Alphas even came close to smelling like her. My instincts are going crazy right now.” Hyunjin confirmed.

"Hey Chan.” I spoke saccharine sweet.

“Yeah?” He replied.

“I hate you.”

"No, you don’t. You’re just being dramatic.”

"My life is over! I’m allowed to be dramatic!

Chan just rolled his eyes, ignoring my entire fucking crisis. I wanted to scream, cry, and punch him all at the same time.

"Hyung, you said you were going to explain.” Changbin reminded.

And so, Chan went on to tell everyone all about his quick trip to my small town and the deal that was made. It occurred to me that I never planned beyond the week. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be the one to be able to bond with them. So, I made no plans on what to do next. If I should do anything.

“So, you’re not going to bond us?” Seungmin asked when Chan was finished.

They were all looking at me again, making me feel incredibly self-conscious. “I didn’t plan on this actually working.” I was the only response I would truly, honestly give them. I didn’t know what to do now.

"She is going to be here for the week. No one is going to bug or pressure her to stay beyond that.” Chan warned. “Let JYP and I discuss it with her.”

And I’m sure there will be a lot of discussions. A lot of promises made. Guilt trips. I would get it all.

"So, nothing’s been solved. We are still just as screwed as ever.” Lee Know sounded angry and I looked at my lap knowing this was all because of me.

I stood up. “Maybe I should go-“ I pointed a thumb at the door.

“No!” The response was immediate and from every Omega in the room, making me blink.

Han reached and grabbed my forearm. “You promised a week.” He reminded. His chemo signals smelled of anxiety and fear.

“To a hotel. I was going to say to a hotel.” I finished. I had meant to suggest the hotel to give them time to discuss this without me.

“We can’t guarantee no one will smell your subgender in a hotel. It’s not safe.” Cahn reminded gently.

I let my head fall back before I dropped into a crouched ball and hid my face in my knees and arms, tears threatening behind my eyes. Everything was so messed up now.

I felt someone crouch next to me and start to rub my back, but I didn’t look to see who.

"You guys know how dangerous it can be for an Alpha nowadays.” Chan started talking again, softly. “We have heard horror stories from almost every Alpha we’ve tried. y/n has been hiding her subgender with suppressants. Even coming here is a huge risk for her. Let’s all keep that in mind.”

There was a heavy thump on my upper arm that I assumed was the person rubbing my back resting their forehead on me. The contacts made me feel better.

They showed me to what appeared to be a guest bedroom. There were faint scents of other Alphas so this must have been made up specifically for potential bonding Alphas. It even has its own bathroom. It just reminded me again what I am really here for.

I sighed and bid them goodnight, shutting the door with no plans to actually sleep. I was on an opposite sleep schedule then them. And I slept on the plane not too long ago.

By the end of the week, I’ll be on the same sleep schedule as them, only to go home and repeat the whole process all over again.

Instead, I stripped off my clothes and ran a nice hot bath. Grabbing my phone and a book I brought I slowly settled into the water, hoping for a relaxing time reading and doom scrolling to pass the night.

I did manage a few hours of sleep near dawn. Hopefully enough to get me through the day. I was awake and dressed for the day when Chan knocked on my door. I bid him enter.

“Um, breakfast is ready.” He informed. He looked unsure.

I nodded. “I’ll be right out.” I needed a moment to gather the strength and courage to face everyone again. My dream of meeting Stray Kids has turned into a nightmare.

But instead of leaving, Chan stepped in and shut the door. I watched him in question.

"I wanted to apologize for last night. Things did not go like any of us planned.”

I snorted softly. That was an understatement. “It’s fine, Chan. I just-I don’t know what to do now.” I admitted.

He smiled sadly and nodded. “Well, you have all week to figure it out. In the meantime, just enjoy your time here.”

I followed Chan out to the table where everyone was sitting in varying stages of being awake. I sat at an empty chair between Seungmin and I.N, noticing no one had started eating yet. I wondered what they were waiting on.

When I was settled I.N started putting food on my plate for me. Heavy on all the best stuff. Then he sat back, and everyone looked at me. I blinked not knowing what they wanted.

“You have to start eating.” Han whispered helpfully from across the table.

“Why?” I whispered back. I was the only one with food, it would be rude to eat in front of them.

“You’re Alpha.” He said it like that explained everything.

“It’s an instinct thing. Just take a bite.” Seungmin sounded exasperated with the whole thing.

So, I picked up my chopsticks and took a bite. As soon as I did, they flurried into motion, filling their own plate and eating. Then I realized what happened. It finally clicked into place.

Their Omega instincts wouldn’t let them start eating until their freaking Alpha did. I felt sick to my stomach suddenly and set my chopsticks down.

I stayed at the table only because if I left it would have upset them, but I couldn’t bring myself to eat another bite. If any of them noticed, they didn’t bring it up. Instead, they talked amongst themselves, pretty much ignoring me entirely now that I did what they needed.

Slowly they all finished and left the table to start their day, leaving the dishes, leftovers, and me alone at the table. My eyes pricked with tears again as I started to gather dishes to clean up.

This is what they expected from their Alpha. Follow them around the world, take care of them, clean up after them, fulfill their instinctual needs. If I stayed, that’s what I had to look forward to at “home”. Meanwhile, their managers would shape me into the idol Alpha that can be seen with Stay Kids and make them money.

I put away the food, did the dishes, wiped the table, and swept the floor all in silence. While I did, I could hear the 8 Omegas going about their day. A small group was in the living room playing games. Some were in their rooms; doors open but doing their own thing. They were loud, yelling at each other from different rooms. Chaotic as they enjoyed their days.

With nothing else to do I set up my laptop at the table, put some headphones in, and logged into work. I would get an email from my boss later since I was supposed to be on vacation, but it was after hours back home, so he wouldn’t know for hours yet, and I needed a distraction.

There wasn’t so much a lunch as people made something to eat when they were hungry, so I was spared being used as an Alpha for the moment. I had a feeling dinner would not be the same story.

Not even one of them spoke to me all day. Ignored my presence as if I was a lamp or coffee table, only interacting with me when they needed me.

“You’re stinking up the room.” Lee Know complained as I.N filled up my dinner plate.

I had been in my own depressing thoughts as I stared at my plate. Instead of answering him I took a bite of food and chewed as they all loaded their dishes.

I was once again left with clean up.

As I was washing dishes, the doorbell rang. Assuming someone would get it, I kept washing. The bell rang again a minute later.

“Someone get the door!” Seungmin yelled.

I sighed as I dried my hands as I walked over to the door. It was JYP. “Chans in the living room.” I informed him as I went back to the dishes.

But he followed me instead. “They already have you doing chores, huh?” He joked.

I tried to smile, but my lips wobbled dangerously so I quickly looked away, back to the dishes. “Just doing my job. An Alpha takes care of their Omegas. Even prospective ones. However temporary.”

That’s right. This was only for the promised week. I didn’t have to stay. They weren’t my Omegas. 1 week, and my end of the bargain was fulfilled. Just play their game.

Since I was avoiding looking up from the dishes, I was startled when JYPs hand entered my vision, gently taking the sponge. I looked over. He had rolled his sleeves up to the elbows.

“Let me help. You can dry.” He said gently.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Unwilling Alpha Taglist: @xxeiraxx @hanniemylovelyquokka @breadedloafs @songleepark @f1ln4dr3cl16mv33 @hyunjinhoexxx @kayleefriedchicken @vietjeb

[nieceeee]

“BEFORE THE BABY”

P/S: What was it like before babydaddy!eren was a baby daddy. And the reason he became one in the first place.

W/C: 4.2K

A/N: uhhh, this is a lil nasty. But this is before y/n gets pregnant and the relationship dynamic, there is a bit of dynamic shifting (d/s), pet names like babydoll, reader calls him daddy, safe words and things of that nature, of course MNDI, modern

“Look, I’m not dealing with your bullshit.” You said annoyed, trying to close the door. “I’m not bullshitting. I mean it.” he said. “Eren, I'm not in the fucking mood today okay.” You stood with your front door cracked, one foot nudged behind it to keep him outside.

“Come on. Please, hear me out.” he begged. You look into his eyes, a hint of desperation lingering. What the hell is his game this time? You were all too familiar with this cat and mouse mind maze he always played with you. Yet as self aware as you are, you somehow always fall back into the traps. Like Vickie Lo, it's always break up to make up just to break up again. Why? Who knows. You could always blame it on the toe curling make up sex every time yall had whenever you gave into him. Or the fact that you didn't respect myself enough as a woman to not allow a man to treat you like this, at least that's what your great grandmother would often remind you each time you went over for family dinners. Yet, she wonders why she doesn’t see you as much anymore. Or it could simply be that for some reason, you actually cared about him and dealing with the stress was easier than not dealing with him at all. At least that's what you’ve always told yourself each time you ran back to him. The truth of the matter is you didn't want to let him go because you didn't know how to. Eren had been your first of many things. Your best friend, Your first kiss, Your first love. You’ve known each for as long as you could remember.

It wasn’t a mystery that he would be your first in bed as well. Honestly, you both were amazing together…except when you were together. For some reason, the moment you started to take your relationship seriously, everything went to hell. It's like you couldn’t get it right no matter how hard you tried. But it was always a constant in your life, him being there. So your lives went in a consistent loop of ups and downs. In this moment, you were in another down as he stood on your porch doing the same thing he’s always done. Crawled back when he’s sick of being alone. “Babydoll. Please, just let me in.” he pleaded, pressing a hand against the door. “For what Eren? So you can pull the same bullshit you always do?” you spit out. “I’m not bullshitting you this time.” he explained, his hands pressing into the oak wood on the door. “Okay, so say what you have to say right here.” You said, putting a hand against your hip, a smirk at your lips. “Right here? On the porch?” he asks, confused. “Yes, since you got so much to fucking say. You don't need to be in my house to say it. Matter of fact..” you start to get louder but the sound of your neighbors screen door caught your attention. You roll your eyes.

If your elderly neighbor was one thing, it was nosey. She was always poking her head out searching for drama for her brunch club and unfortunately for you, your life has become her most recent soap opera. You clench your jaw in frustration as you turn your attention back to the cause for the current drama. “Eren, I really don't have the fucking time to deal with this today. So if you got something to say, hurry up and get it over with.” You say, trying to get this over with. “If you want me to then okay. I’ll say whatever right here. But I want you to listen to me this time and not just let me talk. Will you at least promise me that?” He asked. You open your mouth to speak but the squeaking of her door interrupted you again. She stood there with her head peeking out of the door, anticipating the mes to unfold. You were at the end of your wits. It was one thing to have to deal with him but, she was a whole different story. “I’m sorry. Do you need something?” You call out to her. Her eyes widen slightly before she narrows them at the both of you. You tilt your head at her, waiting for a smart comment to come out of her mouth. You’ve always been taught to respect your elders but today was one of those days.

She huffed and mumbled under her breath as she slinked back into her house, shutting the door behind her. You rolled your eyes again and turned back to Eren once more. “Now back to you.” Your anger was getting worse. Why was he even here? You were set to gave a great lazy day at home. That was indicated by the oversized university sweats hanging off his hips, your pink laced g-string peeking out of the top. A tight fitted cropped tank with the word “ANGEL” pasted across your breasts. Your snack-cuterie board was stocked to the brim and all your favorite Disney classics were queued up on the tv. You had all the makings of a lazy day in. So it was obvious to say that you were pissed that your night came crashing down once you opened your door to a set of bright emerald eyes staring down at you. “Babydoll?” He called pulling you from your thoughts.

“Stop calling me that.” You say, annoyed at him. “Okay, y/n. Please. You want me to beg? I will literally get on my knees and beg. Right here. I just need this chance. I mean it.” He says, slowly beginning to drop to his knees. Fuck you think to yourself. “Eren…” you say, letting out a frustrated sigh. He had already dropped one knee to the ground and seeing him like that sent a chill down your spine. You quickly shook the image from your mind. “Would you get up? You're making a scene.” You fuss pulling at his arm. Confusion laced his face as he lifted himself to standing. “You just told me…” he started. “I know what I said. I just…damn it. Eren, seriously what the hell do you want from me?” You groan, pressing your thumb and pointer finger against the bridge of your nose. “I want to talk to you.” He begged. “Why? There is nothing for us to even talk about.” Your arms fly up in the air with frustration at the consistent badgering. Normally he would’ve given in by now, giving you time to cool off before he came back a few days later pestering you again. What the fuck is his problem.

“All I need is five minutes. That’s all. And I’m done.” He tried compromising. This is not going to end well. I just know it. Everything in you wanted to say no. You met his gaze, he stared in anticipation, eyes widened like a lost puppy as waited for you to respond. He needed you to let him in. He knew it was a lot to ask but this time, he couldn’t walk away. Not again. Eren stood in front of you, hands hanging by his side as his fingers twitched slightly from his nerves. He opened his mouth to try and plead his case again for the umpteenth time but you spoke before he could utter a word. “Fuck. Okay, fine.” You reluctantly give in to him. His eyes widened with hope “You get two minutes. That’s it. So you better make this shit count.” You say as you ease up on the door and let him inside. He nodded his head frantically as he made his way inside. What the fuck have I done you think to yourself as you follow behind him, closing the door and turning the bolt lock

“How does it feel, baby girl?” he cooed. A soft moan escaped through the cherry gloss of your lips as his fingers gently caressed the throbbing bundle of nerves between your legs. Fuck. You think to yourself. “Come on babydoll, talk to me.” he continued, adding slightly more pressure. Your eyes roll towards the back of your head as you let it drop back into the satin covered pillow. Damn this feels so fucking good. Eren continues with slow counterclockwise circles, adjusting the pressure with each motion. Your body is reeling as the waves of pleasure roll through you. His fingers slip inside of you causing your body to jolt forward, arching your back from the bed and pressing your pussy into his hand. He presses the palm of his hand onto your clit as he pumps his middle and ring fingers into you slowly. His digits gently caress your insides, your slickness dripping out onto the sheets below you. Eren curves his fingers upwards towards your g-spot, making a “come here” gesture as he pleases you.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

He works you over slowly, breaking down your mental wall and sending your body further down the pleasure spiral. Your body has a mind of its own as it starts to shift forward, rocking back and forth against his long, skilled fingertips. A smile graced his face as he pushes the digits all the way inside of you, coaxing out another whimper from your lips. He pushes them into the knuckles as your body releases against his hand, your cum coating his palm and dripping to his wrist. Eren pulls his fingers from inside of you and brings his hand to his mouth, dragging his tongue up his palm and swallowing your juices. He quickly drops down and presses his belly against the mattress so that his face is lined up with your pussy. He wasted no time dragging his tongue from your opening up to your clit, licking up the mess he just made. You legs threaten to close but he brings his hands up to your inner thighs pressing them to the sides of the bed. “Ereeeen..fuck.” You cry out as he flicks the tip of his tongue against your clit.

Eren knew your body like it was his own. Let him tell it, it was his own. He knew every spot to hit to make you squirm underneath him. You watch as he takes his time, devouring you. His eyes raise up from between your legs and catch your stare. The burning gaze made your heart flutter. Eren stares into your soul as he slows his pace. You watch him pull back and flatten his tongue before bringing it forward and pressing it between your legs, covering your lips. He let his saliva drip all over you as he slid his tongue against your folds, swirling his tongue in wide zig zag motions as the fluids drenched your pussy. An audible gasp escapes your lips once the warmth of his mouth covers the hood of your clit. He twists the tip of his tongue in small circles around your clit as he continues to suck the hood between his lips. Your head falls back, mouth in an O as a whispered fuck coasted into the air. Your orgasm rolls into a ball in your belly, the tingles tickling your core before it explodes from your center and covers your entire body in ecstasy.

Eren watches you through hooded eyes as he sucks your juices down his throat. He loves seeing the way you fall apart under him. He would do anything to keep that blissful look on your face. He lapped at you, the wetness the only sound ringing in his ear aside from your broken pants. “Rennie…” you pant, rubbing your hands through his soft tresses and tugging at him. A growl came from his chest as he tugs your clit slightly with his lips. He cleans you with his tongue before raising himself up. Your essence drips down his chin and trickles onto his chest. He licks his lips and meets your gaze again. “You good?” He raises a brow at you. His voice is thick with lust as he hints at what he wants. You knew what he was asking for, the indentations in his voice make it evident. You take a few steady breaths before parting your legs wider and flattening yourself against the mattress. He smirks down at you and cups his hands underneath your upper thighs, slipping you deeper into his web.

“E, fuck…” your mind goes blank as he rubs his tip gently against your core. He pauses for just a moment, checking you over. “You okay baby? You need me to stop?” He looks at you, gaze still heavy but more alert that he was before to your needs. You take the time to peek pass your abdomen and down to his dick. He normally hung low but when he was erect, his soldier stood at full attention. His tip pink with arousal, threatening to leak. “Babydoll?” He asks, stepping back a bit to give you room to breathe. “N-no, I’m okay.” You drag your eyes back up to his face. “You sure?’ He asks again, still standing in his position. “Yes.” Your voice was certain this time. “I’m sure.” You assure him as you lean back again and wait for him to come close. He pauses a moment and then steps closer, gripping his dick and lining it back up with your center. He gives you one more look which you acknowledge with a slight nod, before pressing his length all the way inside of you.

“Ereeeeen.. mmm. Fuckfuckfuck.” You cry out. Your fingers pale against your grip of the sheets as he stretches your pussy out. How the hell did I fall for this again? The thought forced itself into your head. But you already knew the answers. This was nothing new. The up and down cycle. But, emotionally, something has changed. You aren’t sure if it was your lust riddled brain or the ounce of hope left in your heart but this time felt so different. The way he dropped to his knees before you on my porch. The pleading that reached up through his eyes. It seemed as if it was more genuine than you were used to. He poured into you, fucking your anger out of your system. “Oh my GOD, E!” You call out, his thrusting forcing you out of your thoughts and back to reality. “Fuck baby I missed this pussy so much.” He groans as he strokes you deeper. Your moans match his as he brings his body closer, hovering over you and pressing his hand into the headboard behind you. You shift your hips back a small fraction to try and allow yourself a slight breath from the way he was digging into your guts.

“Damn baby, you running from me already? We just getting started.” He jokes, his voice straining. He reaches his left arm and slides it under your hips and yanks you back to him, thrusting forward into your pussy, a bubble of your cum leaks out around him. You scream out to him, nails gripping into his back as he fucks you, crescents carving into his paled skin. “Rennie, please baby.” You cry. “You remember your safe word, yeah babydoll?” He asks as he pulls his hips back, allowing you to breathe. Mango you repeat in your head as you nod at him. “Good fucking girl.” He growls before ramming back into you. Your eyes roll back in your head as you grip the sheets until your knuckles turn white. His emerald gaze finds your amber one as his tips caresses your cervix. “Whose pussy is it babydoll? Who does it belong to?” He whispers through strokes. Your head was clouded with lust. “It’s yours daddy.” You bellow out.

“Fuck, you take daddy’s dick so well. My perfect fucking babydoll. I'm so proud of you.” He works you to another orgasm, your legs start to shake as your walls contract around his dick. Eren slips into your folds so effortlessly, knowing you were slowly crafted to fit his length. His muscles strained as he pleases you, he wanted to hold back. He needed to make sure you got yours even if he didn’t at all. His breathing got deep and choppy and his pace shifted. The strokes slow to a more sensual pace, a stark contrast to the rough hard ones from earlier. Eren’s hips roll into yours, pinpointing that gummy spot in your lower abdomen. If Eren was going to do one thing, it would be please you. He would give you ten orgasms and still coax more from you before he even thought about himself. But you wouldn't let him. Not this time. You are going to make him give you all of him. If he meant what he said on your porch, you would force him to show you.

“Daddy.” You moan. A shiver runs down Eren’s spine at the name, a low gasp breaking through his tightened lips. “Don’t stop, okay?” You beg, your chest rapidly rising and falling. Widened eyes met yours as Eren swallowed the lump in his throat. “Please don’t stop.” You cry out. “Oh fuck.” He moans softly. His strokes continue but at a sloppier and inconsistent pace. “Baby…I- I can’t.” He whimpers, dropping his head into your shoulder. “Please Rennie, I want it baby.” You reach your arms up and pull his chest against yours, your thighs tighten around his waist and you lock your ankles above him. That familiar sense of obsession took over you as you held his body firmly to yours. “I want it baby please. I want you to cum for me.” You plead. He lets out a strangled groan, pressing closer to you, anything to relieve himself of the energy streaking through his bloodstream. “Y/n, baby please. I can’t.” He whispers into your skin. You clench around him, your body still as he sits sheathed inside of you, your throbbing walls massaging his pulsing tip as you breathe in tandem. You give him a moment to steady his breathing but you won’t let him go.

“Do you remember your safe word?” You echo his question from earlier. It takes Eren a moment, brain still fogged from lust. “Huh?” He lets out. “Do you remember your safe word?” You repeat the question. Eren looks you in your eyes, swallowing heavily before giving you a slight nod. “Do you need it?” You ask him. He pauses a moment, contemplating his next move. You waited patiently, your big brown eyes staring into his. He takes another choppy breath before shaking his head no. A sadistic feline smile graces your plump lips as you send him over the edge

“Then cum in this pussy daddy.”

His body shudders on top of yours. “Oh my…Ba-baby, I can’t.” He stuttered. “Of course you can baby. I know you can.” You encourage him. You reposition your feet under your body, pressing them flat against the mattress so that you can grind your hips up towards his body. Eren bites down into his lips, his eyes rolling at the sensation of your bodies pleasing each other once again. “Do I feel good to you baby?” You tease him. He lets out a low guttural moan. “I can’t hear you.” You state, demanding a response from him. “Yes.” he whispers, not wanting to break. He was always the one in control. He was the pleaser, the one to care for you. This was different for him and he wasn’t sure about how far you were willing to go. But he wanted to. For once in his life, he wanted to feel something real and allow himself the luxury of being cared for. But that wouldn’t mean he would give in so easily. But that wouldn’t stop you from trying.

“Are you holding back from me daddy?” You tease him. He shakes his head in response, trying desperately to swallow the lump in his throat as your hips continue to grind against his dick. “It’s your pussy daddy. Take it.” You revel in the way his restraint was crumbling at your words. His composure slips as the transference of dominance shifted from his body to yours. “Fuck me daddy.” Your voice carries through the room. Eren felt himself toppling over the edge, the buildup he was holding back threatening to flood your walls. “Come on. I’ve been a good girl daddy please. I promise.” You sweet talk him. Your gazes meet and he stares down into your glossy eyes, tears slipping out the corners. He never takes the time to really look into to your eyes during sex but this time, he held your gaze like it was the last time he would see it. It was as if something snapped in place. A new level of possession overtook his senses as his eyes darkened.

Eren pulled his arms from your sides, sliding his hands down to your wrists. His long fingers gripped both wrists, pinning them together in a wrist lock above your head. The growl that comes from his body is nothing he’s never experienced before as he begins to stroke faster. “Yes, baby.” You cry out to him, head tossed back in bliss as your manicured toes curls into Cs beneath you. Eren widens his legs so that he can sink lower into the bed and fuck you deeper, aggression increasing with his pace. “Rennie, please—just like that baby. Fuck, you’re in my fucking stomach.” You cry. “Yeah you like that shit huh? You like me fucking you like this?” He asks. “Yes, baby. I love it. Fuck, i love it.” “Shit.” he says. He pounds your pussy without remorse, your eyes travel down his chest to where your bodies were connecting.

Your belly jumping every time his dick made contact. Thick hot spirals of energy light your body on fire as your cheeks flush from the heat. Fuck he’s going to make me cum again. You tense up, the arch in your back expanding but you watch while he continues to stroke you. “Fuck, you’re so fucking pretty babydoll. You taking this dick like a champ baby.” Eren praises you. “Baby, you're going to make me cum. Please.” Your body shakes and convulses under his touch. He grunts, strokes getting heavy. “Fuck Rennie, you’re going to split me in pieces.” You cry out as your body gushes underneath him. You release a noise you never heard before as you feel yourself let go. “Fuck, baby I’m going to nut.” He says as his seed paints the inside of your body. You feel the warmth raising your body temperature. His body convulsed as his dick throbs in your pussy. Damn he feels so fucking good. He sits there breathing heavily, still for a moment as you both process everything that happened.

“You didn't use your safe word.” You state looking up at the ceiling. “Neither did you.” He whispered. He stares down at you as you stare up into bliss. Eren took the time to take you in. Your thick hair fluffed all around your face, face glistening with afterglow, twin toned lips parted slightly as your chest rises and falls. Eren’s heart strummed in his chest. What the fuck. His brows furrowed slightly at the unfamiliar feeling trying to take over him again. You finally turned to meet his gave and his heart nearly jumped into your hands. “You okay Rennie?” You say softly. “Ye-yeah. We should get you cleaned up babydoll.” He smiles at you. “You’re finished already?” You pout. His eyes widened in shock. “You’re not??” You shrug your shoulders at his response. “It’s been a while.” You say shifting your body up. He gets caught off guard for a moment at the intensity of your stare. You smirk, pushing into his chest until he is pressed back onto the bed, your body hovering over his, pussy still dripping with both of your releases. “Babydoll.” His breath quickens, tones hands gripping your waist as he tries to force them to stop shaking.

“Relaaaax. I’m not going to do anything crazy.” You say as you lean down and press your lips to his, savoring in the softness. Your tongue grazes against his lips pulling a soft moan from his mouth into yours. You separate for air, instead trailing kisses across his jaw and up behind his ear. “Fuck…” His hands squeeze you in warning. “Okay, okay. I'm done.” You pull back. “I need food.” You unmount him and slip down the bed, feet pressing into the floor. Your legs shake underneath you and you reach out to steady yourself. “You good babydoll?” He asks coming to sit in front of your standing frame. You nod slightly, trying to get your balance. “I got you princess.” He slips off the mattress and comes up behind you. He leans you back into his arm and the other wraps around the back of your knees, lifting you bridal style and carrying you to the bathroom to get cleaned up. “Rennie?” You ask. “Hmm?” He responds. “You should apologize more often.” You tease. He laughs out loud, “Yeah, sure. As much as you want babygirl.” He says before prepping your bath.

[mjbarrosart]

My Dragon Prince Boards season 7, episode 705, part 1

It's time to talk about my boards for episode 705 of the last season of The Dragon Prince. I did a lot of stuff in this episode, so instead of going in order, I'll divide my work differently for this one, we will talk by group of sequences and not in order of appearance.

Let's start with the sunfire elf side of the plot. As a lot of you know, most of my work in this show was related to the Sunfire elves, and to be honest Janai and Amaya are two of my favorite characters of the show, so every chance to work with them is always a bless.

I did all the scenes of Karim talking with Amaya in this episode. It is hard to explain how I feel about Karim, he is such an idiot, but I am also kinda fond of him because I spent so many hours working on him thinking about his mannerism and motivations. I am fond of him, but I also hate him, hahahaha.

There is not a lot to say about this sequences, they are pretty straight forward. While I can understand why Karim hates humans so much, that doesn't mean he is right about it, and this hate is starting to feel like pettiness, and well fits him, he is a really petty man.

Let! Green! Say! Ass! hahahaha. Its always funny to board this kind of little jokes. I love Green and Amaya dynamics, they are such good friends, and I love how Green is always making sure that Amaya's bluntness is not coming out as "rude". But sometimes I feel he should just translate directly what Amaya is saying, because I don't think Karim deserves special considerations, haha.

That little speech Karim does about how he and Amaya are not the same was interesting to board for me. I wanted him to feel aggressive and menacing, even if his hands were tied. Like he was trying to intimidate Amaya, but she will not bend, she can see thru his BS. I wanted him to trespass into Amaya's personal space, portrait him as the bully he is. He says that his faith comes from knowledge, while the truth is that he leads using fear. Such a pathetic little man.

Another instance where is wish the rigs where able to translate between the expressions from the boards. I wanted him to spit his words trough his teeth when he says "humans are vermin, a plague", like his mouth is full of poison and hate.

But the Amaya, who is mostly motivated by making sure that Janai doesn't regrets the decision of killing her brother, does the right thing and reminds him of the fact that Miyana is pregnant, that there is a future worth to live for. Karim shows some doubts, so Amaya leaves and Miyana enters the stage.

I feel kinda bad for Miyana. I mean she deserves the punishment she got, at the end of the day she betrayed her people. But I feel bad for her, because I think that she honestly loves Karim. Imagine loving such a foolish man. And Karim can not learn a lesson, he keeps being an idiot. He is offered a second chance to be with his family, but the only thing he can see in Miyana is that she is carrying "his heir", and Miyana is right of being offended by that. But she wants to believe that he will made the right choice. And maybe for a minute Karim ponders it. I wanted him to loot vulnerable and maybe open in the final shot, so I made him kneel close to Miyana, laying his head on her belly, close to his child. We know how this will end for him, but for a moment there is maybe hope that he will change... no?

My next scene in this episode is one I am really fond of. Is the one when Terry says that the only person who can stop Claudia is her mom, and Soren is really against that idea.

First, is always fun to have a moment with Terry. I have really small ones during my work in the show, so this one was a blast. Second, I got to have another emotional Soren moment, and that is always nice, because Sores in my boy.

The back and forth of this conversation is pretty straight forward too. What was important for me was what will be the moment that will make Soren change his mind, and support the idea. So I decided to use Corvus for this.

Soren is struggling with the idea of bringing her mother back, even if that means they will have a real shot making Claudia stop. Corvus see his pain, and touch his shoulder. We talked before on how touching is a love language between this two, they don't need tons of words. Corvus is saying "I know that it's hard, but I am here with you". On my boards I had him giving Soren a little nod, they removed that for the final shot, and I think is ok. The nod is not necessary, Soren understand what Corvus means. With his support Soren can do it.

So he gathers strength and gives the drawing to Ezran. I like that in the animation stage they kept Corvus hand all the time on his shoulder. For Soren the idea of facing his mom is one full of pain and conflicted feelings, but he doesn't need to face it alone, he has Corvus at his side (as a partner, friend, soulmate, brother, whatever you see them being).

I love them so much...

The second part of this post is about the last sequence I did for this episode, it is a small one, but one that you could say... brings a "surprise"!

I will posted right away, so stay tuned!

[bethanydelleman]

this is a very particular question indeed but I'd love to hear your take on it. if you could adapt all of the austen novels (even lady susan etc) in a modern day setting movie/book, what would you do? how would the characters, dynamics etc? would anne & wenworth still be separated by social status? would emma fall in love with a female knightley? what about lydia? & the whole fanny & edmund thing? I don't mind a long answer, in fact the longer it is, the better it is, i am in love with your austen posts and you haven't been wrong one single time. there's no other blog I'd rather ask about it tbh.

Okay, so, I'm not really a modernizer and this is a very long question. Here we go!

Two general posts about careers that would work for the men and women.

Northanger Abbey:

I wrote this. I think it's the easiest to modernize because Catherine just becomes a modern Twilight girlie or a Brontë fan and the Tilneys can totally still have a cool heritage house.

Emma:

Almost perfectly modernized by the movie Clueless, I wouldn't attempt to do it better. My queer take, which works modern or Regency era.

Pride & Prejudice:

Almost perfectly modernized by the movie Bride & Prejudice. This one hinges so much on class differences and a woman's need to marry that I think it's really hard to do a modern, Western context. However, it would make an excellent Korean drama because of remaining social stratification in that country.

Lizzie Bennet Diaries was fun, but I don't think it worked as well. Fire Island was not for me, but I think it was a pretty good modern take too.

Persuasion:

I wrote a post about this. Probably more than one but that's all I can find right now. Anyway, I think the basic premise can still work even if Anne can get a job, because there are good reasons to reject a penniless guy at 19 even today. Making Anne & Wentworth some flavour of queer can be a good angle too. But the story is essentially about yearning and forgiveness, that is something we still have.

Sense & Sensibility:

Willoughby's sin works in modern times, the real problem is Edward's unbreakable engagement. Having Lucy baby trap Edward (but it's his brother's baby maybe?) would be an option, but then again, hard to explain why Edward has to keep the marriage/engagement a secret. This one is really hard and I don't have a solution.

Mansfield Park:

I just posted about this. But it's strange, people say this one doesn't work as a modern but it totally does. Henry Crawford & Maria's affair is still totally unacceptable today, cheating is a thing most people hate, in fact. You need to eliminate the cousin thing for modern sensibilities and maybe take Fanny out of the house (she's a friend or an employee), but it can work. From Mansfield With Love was okay but I think it can be done better. The play can still be done, but I would choose one that is more well-known, like Romeo and Juliet.

If anyone has better or more ideas, please share! Especially for S&S.

Lady Susan:

I think this one might translate the best after Northanger Abbey, she's a basic Gaslight Girlboss Goddigger. Reginald would be just as aghast that she's sleeping with someone else as he was in the late 1700s. Honestly I wouldn't change much! Lady Susan can be from money or a washed-up actress or something which is why she's trying to marry and not get a job.

[luffy0s]

BSD ADA character as Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics

Just my thoughts on what the ada characters would be if they were in an a/b/o au, kenji and kyouka won't be here because i do not write about minors.

Dazai is an alpha but he acts like an omega.

i know most people would think that he's an omega but listen, dazai acts childish most of the times to appear less threatening and more naive, he wants people to put their guards down when they're around him, and it just makes sense that he's an alpha who acts like an omega.

do you see my vision?

Ranpo is an omega, my first thought was that he would be a beta but thinking about it he seems like the opposite of dazai.

he's an omega who acts like an alpha or more like an omega who wants to be an alpha, we know that ranpo lies to himself and pretends to have an ability, so i feel like he would be an omega who pretends to be an alpha.

Fukuzawa is an alpha, he's strong, responsible leader, a good father and most importantly a green flag, we love him.

he would make a great alpha tbh.

i don't think i need to explain, you get it right?

Kunikida is a beta, i don't think that he would fit as an alpha, and he really doesn't fit as an omega.

he is responsible, trustworthy and hard working, but i feel like he would be a beta.

a safe choice, right?

Yosano is an alpha, i was actually thinking that she would be a beta but she fits more as an alpha.

i don't think i need to explain it, do i? she's a mommy, she would make a gorgeous alpha.

Atsushi is a beta, i know some of you thinks that he would be a beta but come on guys, he's a beta.

he's actually close to an alpha with his strength and power, but he lacks confidence and he has low self esteem and he hates himself (he disparately needs a therapist) and if it weren't for all of that he would have made an excellent alpha.

but a beta suits him best

Tanizaki is a beta, it suits him best honestly, i feel like his sister would be the same.

an omega tanizaki doesn't really sit well with me, and being an alpha doesn't really suits him.

a beta is the safest option for him.

and that's it, this was just a silly idea that came to my mind at 2am and after thinking about it and writing it it became 3:06am.

if you disagree with something don't hesitate to comment it, and give me your thoughts on this. maybe i'll write for pm or doa next...

[irongiant-9000]

My Confession to why I choose Knightshade.

Well... this had to get explained sooner or later...

I guess I want to get this off my chest as to why I push these two so hard...

I know that Jaune and Blake don't really talk in canon. I know that they barely interact at all in the show, and the fact that I ship them at all is just plain crack.

But... for some reason I can't help it. Maybe its just my ignorance, or hell it could be that I am honestly not really a RWBY fan in terms of the show. I truly am an outsider looking because funny enough Fanfiction is what pushed me towards these two.

I just don't really care for canon when it comes to those two. It seems silly, but I just love a knight and ninja dynamic and these two just fit the bill in my opinion and my storytelling brain just tells me to but these two in a relationship. One feels cynical and dreary, while the other one is full of positivity when it comes to their emotions.

They both put themselves down when it comes to letting down their teams, and I just love the idea of them bonding over not only heavy topics like their family issues and the like when it comes to confidence and pushing forward, but maybe even goofy writing prompts like reading materials or food related shenanigans. I know that could be anyone with Jaune and Blake, but I guess I see them both most of all when it comes down to it.

My heart and mind can't help but think that if these two were in a different show or more of an adventure anime as main characters, they would be love interest with their conflicting personalities or how their dynamic would just flow like water. I don't mean to dog Bumblebee or Arkos, but this just something I feel in my heart.

I guess... I just love the clashing colors of the wonderful Knightshade... and I just can't let go...

Its why I asked for those commission from Sesh and Mc, I just think a cat ninja girl and a blond dorky knight was what did it for me.

So yeah... I don't really care to get judged by others for liking these two... I just think the dynamic works, and I can't help but defend my position on these two.

I don't mean to ruffle feathers, I just wanted to explain why I do what I do.

[onskepa]

Heyy, I was wondering if you could write a fic where the Sully kids and Spider meet human Jake. It could be like one day they are at Hell’s Gate and suddenly there's like a white light or something and boom Jake is reverted to his past human self ( wheelchair and all ).

Because in canon they only known Jake in his avatar body, so I think this situation would be fun to explore and see their dynamics.

Helloooooooooo there~!! Honestly this is a good idea and I have got the perfect pic for it! Hope you enjoy~!!

---------------------

[credit to the artist]

Would you love me if I was a worm?

No words or sounds came from netyiri. She just stood still, her eyes wide and mouth open. Her tail stopped swaying. For a solid couple of seconds, everything was dead silent. How can she process what is in front of her? 

“Mom, please, for the love of Eywa, don't freak out” Lo’ak says as calmly as he can. His hands raised up slightly, ready for any outburst his mother would do. Neteyam was beside him, both in front of their father, to protect him. 

“Freak out? FREAK OUT!? I am about to lose my mind! What in Eywa’s name has happened!?” Neytiri screeched. Her anger and fear rising up to her voice. 

In a sharp turn of her neck, she glared hard towards the familiar human scientists. 

“YOU!! WHAT DID YOU DO?!” Neytiri's voice echoed throughout the lab, her rage unmatched. Her amber eyes glaring daggers towards the cowarding humans. Norm, being the more braver among the rest, stood in front of her as if to protect his fellow comrades. 

“W-we didn't know it would turn out like this!” Norm said while his voice was shaking, feeling terrified of the large woman in front of him. 

“did not know!? Look at my husband, HE IS SMALL AND PINK! HE IS HUMAN AGAIN!” 

Few hours earlier…

“So what is the point of that whole machine?” Jake asks as his fellow science friends set up some equipment. “We want to see if our theory of reversing things works”. Norm replied. Jake tilted his head a bit, “reversing things? Like what?” he asks. 

“Well like reversing illnesses, diseases, injuries. For mostly medical reasons. Our modern medicine supply is going to go low at some point. And came to decide other ways to fix or treat stuff” Max replies. Jake nods, understanding. He was mostly out of the way as they completed the machine. It was big, mostly tube-like. A long glass tube for a human or na’vi to get in. Had two sides with touch screens and a computer with a slide to insert something into the tube. Looked very rough in some areas. 

“We had to recycle some materials from the old labs,” Norm explains. 

“So, have you guys tested it yet?” Jake asks. Norm shook his head, “no, we are deciding carefully on what could be our guinea pig, and it needs to be organic. Mostly everyone is afraid to go inside”. 

Jake looks at the machine and slightly raises his hand, “What about me? I could do it”. Norm and Max were quick to turn their heads looking at jake. “Are you sure…? We can't guarantee it would hurt or feel weird” Max says, already not liking the nervous feeling he is getting. “We could try a fruit or something else, we really don't know the levels of danger here”. 

Jake raises his eyebrow, “so you built something, medical wise. And you don't know if it can hurt people?”. Norm swings his arms around and taking a deep breath, “we work with what we got. And yes, we don't know if it will cause more harm. That is why everyone, even us, are hesitant to try it out”. 

Jake shrugs and was still insistent on being the test subject. Norm gave in but max was not liking it at all. Feeling something is gonna go wrong. But no one would listen to him. So jake in his na’vi glory, stepped inside the tube as the science guys began to turn up the machine. “Ok, all systems are go. Ready jake?” Norm asks through the intercom. Jake nods, grinning all excitedly. 

Counting down, norm presses a button and suddenly in the tube released light green mist. Fogging the entire large tube. However, loud banging was quickly heard. On the screens showed Jake's heart rate spiking, alarms going off. Quickly everyone was quick to try and shut off the machine. Even by forcing the glass to open. And once it did, a human hand poked out.

“Your father hasn't come back yet, '' Neytiri tells her children as they enjoy their dinner. Jake isn't one to miss dinner time. He wouldn't miss any chance to eat. All of the kids looked at each other, trying to remember when was the last time they saw their dad. And then, tuk thumped her tail happily. 

“Daddy said he went to see the uncle norm and the others. Said they wanted to show him something” tuk happily provides the information. While it is not unusual Jake would go to visit the humans, what is unusual is that he stays there all day. A couple of hours at most and he leaves. This made neytiri worry the more she thought about it. 

“I can go get him” Lo’ak offers. He knows his mother isn't very comfortable being in the human posts. Neytiri nods but also adds, “neteyam will join you”. She knows well he will get distracted and have not only jake but now lo’ak staying longer than they should. 

After dinner, the brothers went off to get their father. However, once they stepped inside…it took everything for the boys to not scream their heads off. 

Present time. 

Jake sat in silence. Mostly still trying to process what happened a couple hours ago, still processing his literal new [or old] perspective, and still processing just how pissed his tall wife is. He is human. Back to who he was before. And to make it worse. 

He is back in the wheelchair. 

Back to having his useless legs. 

Back to being weak. 

And he hates it. 

The screeches of neytiri became dull in his mind. The more he thinks about it, the more it daunts on jake. Will it be forever? Is this the new reality? After achieving so much, only to go backwards? 

“Fix him! I do not care how you do it! Fix him now!” Neytiri continues to demand norm. She doesn't care what methods, she wants her Jake back to how he was. A na’vi. 

“W-we don't know! We are not sure how to fix it. This could take time” Norm tries to reason with the angry wife but she just shakes her head in frustration. “FIX HIM!!” was all she could say. 

“Neytiri” 

She heard Jake's voice. 

Turning to see him, she can't help but feel her heart tug. There he was, just like how she saw him back in the deep forest. Different, yet the same. The man she fell in love with. And now here he is again. Back to being human. 

“Ma’jake…” she whispers. Slowly going to him, she bends to be at his level. Jake offers his hand and she takes it to her cheek. Feeling his warmth. Feeling a few tears escape, she begins to cry. “How could they do this to you?! Why?!” she questions. Humans are creatures she could never fully understand, no matter how well she thinks she knows. 

“I volunteered to help them. They didn't know I would turn out like this. Its not their fault” Jake answers, trying to level a reason with his love. But her tears didnt stop falling. And he hates this. Hates to see netyiri cry. So doing his best to comfort her, he wraps his arms around her neck and hugs her as best as he could. Joining in on the hug were their sons. 

“You foolish skxawng! Stupid! Idiotic!” Neytiri shouted light hearted insults at her husband, and Jake takes it all in, secretly agreeing with her. “I know, I know baby, I know I am” he repeats. He really did fucked up. 

After a couple of minutes, they let go of each other, but neytiri didn't leave Jake's side. Lo’ak turns to norm to ask, “is there a way to turn him back? He isn't going to be like this forever….right?’. 

Norm took a deep breath and said, “the machine we built is to reverse and fix the main source of the problem. When Jake got in…the machine” point to Jake, “fixed him”. The sully family was slightly confused. “Fixed me? How?“ Jake asked. Rubbing the back of his neck, Max stepped forward to provide more information. “What we built is to reverse a source of a problem. Our best guess is the machine found a problem in you. Your na’vi blood. The machine must has seen it as a problem and using your human DNA to reverse it. Thus…you are fixed. And we cant say if we can turn you back into na’vi…”. 

Dread was what everyone felt. Scared that this would be the new reality. Scare that jake won't be with his family every day. Won't continue to be olo’eyktan or anything. Dread and fear is the collective emotions. 

“How about we sleep on this? A lot has happened and sleep would be best to calm ourselves. Sleep, a bit of coffee and think what our next movie is” Jake suggests. Everyone almost agrees. His family however, not really. “I will stay with you” Neytiri says, no hesitation. But Jake shook his head, placing his hands over her larger ones. “I'm sorry baby, but I need you to go back home. You and our boys. Kiri and tuk are currently alone and they need their parents. I obviously can't…but tomorrow, bring them so they can know what's going on. This won't be forever I promise”. 

Neytiri hisses in frustration. He is right, neytiri left kiri to care for tuk while she came to the lab. Never has she wished this was all a bad dream. A nightmare that she can wake up from. But this is real. And she hates it. 

“Fine…but they have to fix you…I want you back” Neytiri whispers. Holding Jake's hand tightly, observing his pale skin. He feels different. It's not the same hand she loves to hold. It is not the same warmth she leans into for comfort. It's all wrong. Jake isn't-

“Mom” 

Neytiri blinks a few times, looking over at neteyam, his hand on her shoulder. “Let's go home, dad is right. We will come back tomorrow. We can bring kiri and tuk like he said”. Sighing, netyiri finally lets go but not without one last look at jake. Seeing his human form made her feel something. Something unpleasant. 

“Dad…damn it's weird…” Lo’ak says, still trying to get the whole thing wrapped in his mind. Jake could help but chuckle a bit, “it's ok son, I will see you tomorrow”. Not saying much, lo’ak goes with his mother, neteyam also looks one last time before joining them. 

The door shuts behind them, leaving Jake alone to his thoughts. 

“So ummmm….you guys still have my old room?”

“Spider, can you for 5 minutes stop staring at me?” Jake asks, slightly annoyed. Spider on the other hand was staring at him as if he couldn't believe what was in front of him. Slowly spider was using his index finger to slowly poke jake. Looking at it, Jake gently smacked his hand away. “Stop it” Jake warned. 

Spider backed away a bit, huffing a bit, “sorry sir it's just….so weird! You are small and pink and well…human”. Jake couldn't blame the boy. He grew up seeing Jake full na’vi. But doesnt mean it didn't hurt Jake a bit. His pride, he tries to keep humble, but little by little his pride crumbles. 

“Get used to it, come on. Lets see what the others are doing” Jake says as both of them head off to the main room. 

“I thought they were kidding…” Kiri says as she stands in front of her dad. Tuk beside her, eyes wide and in shock. Same reaction as their mother. Jake raises his arms, grinning in a rather floppy way, “I wish baby girl” he said. Hearing his voice only confirmed it more. Tuk releases her grip on Kiri's hand and walks over to her dad. Carefully analyzing his human features. 

“Is it really you daddy…?” tuk asks, excited yet afraid to hear his answer. “It is me tuktuk, surprised?” Jake responds, giving his signature grin. Smiling happily, she hugs him tightly. It's so weird to her, she is the baby but she is bigger than her dad. Letting go, she sees his wheelchair, bending down, she traces the metal wheels. 

“Why are you in a chair?” She asks while her giggles escape. She looks up to see jake give a sad smile. 

“Well baby girl, my legs cant move. I cant walk or do anything, '' he tells truthfully. Tuk’s smile faded a bit, “does that mean you cant run..?”. Jake nods. 

A few seconds of silence passed before she went behind him and grabs the handles, “can I at least push you?” she asks excitedly, her tail swaying in a playful manner. Jake chuckles, “try not to run so fast-WOA!!”. Tuk was off doing just that, running fast making cool drifts with the wheelchair. 

“Weeeeeeee~!!” 

10 minutes later 

“Sorry…” Tuk apologizes while holding her tail and head low. 

She just crashed into one of the computers. 

Norm doing his best to not show his internal scream, he does his best to comfort her. But Jake goes over, grabbing tuk’s hand, “it's ok baby girl, but try to be extra careful. It's not easy to maintain all of this technology, come on, let's go with everyone else”. Tuk feeling better, this time she carefully takes Jake to where the other kids are

“And why are you not with your mate? Especially in his time of need?” Mo’at asks as she mixes herbs to make more healing substance. Neytiri was helping her, but refused to make eye contact. Mo’at was told of what happened, and had to see for herself. And while it certainly was a shock, she was quick to tell the people that their olo’eyktan had to travel for a bit. But she doesn't know how long the people will believe that. 

“The children go to support their father but here you are supporting me when it is not needed” she continues. Putting down the roller, neytiri huffs, feeling annoyed herself. “I went to the spirit tree…” was all she could say. But mo’at gave her a look, “Eywa cant answer all of our problems, as she cant help jake sully this time” she says. 

“This is a problem only the humans can fix” 

But even then, neyiri continues to assist. Thinking about her mate, but doing nothing to see him. The humans have to fix him, they must.

The sully kids were playing Jake's old vlogs as he was cringing from the inside. Was that how he really behaved back then? And speaking highly of Quaritch? How badly he wanted to go back in time and smack the shit out of himself. 

“Wait, but you look exactly the same as in the videos, shouldn't you be looking about your current age?” Kiri asks, comparing her father to himself of the past. But Jake could only shrug, “I am not sure kiddo. But I consider it lucky I haven't lost my good looks”. Kiri rolls her eyes at that self praise. 

Yet, as the kids watch, he couldn't help but wonder about neytiri, she hasn't come even though she said she would. He suspects there is something going on with neytiri but he can't point out what exactly. But jake hopes to see her soon. He can use all the support he can get. 

Norm isnt much help since “they are still figuring it out”. Jake hates this, he hates seeing his human hands. Hates to see himself human. The desire to be na’vi again grows every second.  

“Has mom said anything about coming?” Jake asks neteyam, the oldest slight shrugs. “I asked mom but she didn't say much, just that she will be helping grandma. That's about it” neteyam answers. Sighing inwardly, perhaps she too is still processing the truth. That is fine, giving her space can be good.

But as days passed, Jake was struggling. He was so used to doing certain things, he has forgotten his human habits. Often had to be reminded to wear more clothes, forgetting he didn't had much hair from the start. Technology around him makes him a bit sick, unable to stare at screens for a long time. Not like how he used to. Sounds from the computers annoyed him. 

And dont get him started on food. There is only so much pandora food that is safe for humans. Jake missed eating certain things that the humans find weird or gross. 

And most of all, being reminded of how weak he is. Having his useless legs back is forever mocking him. How he isn't strong as he was in na’vi. And he hates himself because of it.

Jake is constantly reminded of how dull and empty his human life was. And how full and nurturing his na’vi life is. He needed to get back to being na’vi soon. As if each day, a piece of his mind is slowly losing sanity. Jake is a patient man, but when you are used to a certain life, only to refrain to how you started. It takes a toll. 

1 month. 

It took neytiri one month to come see him. And Jake felt relieved to see her. To feel her hands and touch her beautiful face. “I missed you” he says with great relief. Neytiri gives him a small smile as she examines his hands again. 

“They still haven't fixed you” was all she said. 

“You talk as if I am broken” Jake slightly jokes, chuckling to himself. But neytiri wasn't smiling. Taking a more serious look, he leans a bit closer, “neytiri…do you think I am broken?”. He needed to know, from revealing to himself, that is all she ever said, fix. As though there is something wrong with him. 

“You are human…” she whispers. But Jake heard her loud and clear. 

Her eyes were unable to meet his. Her hands are there, but her mind is distant. “Is that bad?” he asks. A bad feeling starts to grow, gripping her hands more, Jake tries to make eye contact but neytiri looks away. 

“Baby please look at me….do I look broken to you?” Jake pleads. But nothing came of her mouth. Slowly, Neytiri pulls her hands back and gets up, “I have to go”. She leaves, almost as though she wants to run. 

“NEYTIRI!” Jake calls out, his voice cracking. But she was gone. 

Tuk was crying, she twisted her ankle while running and was swelling bad, Mo’at was quick to treat her, but tears wouldn't stop. Everyone tried to soothe her, but nothing was of use. From neteyam hugging her, to lo’ak making a fool of himself on purpose, nothing worked. And neytiri was getting more anxious that she couldn't calm her baby. 

“Please tuktuk, ssshhhh it's going to be ok. I know it hurts, would you like your favorite supper?” Neytiri asks, holding tuk and gently rocking her back and forth. 

“No! “ tuk cries out. Her wails loud and heart breaking. Honestly they really tried everything. But what could work?

“Tuk, it doesn't hurt, does it? Why are you really crying?” Kiri asks gently, already seeing through her sister's facade. Tuk shook her head, wiping her tears and taking deep, quick breathes. 

“Nononono!” was all tuk could say. The more she cries, the more worried Neytiri gets. But before anyone else can say anything, tuk confesses. 

“I want daddy!!” and she cries some more. 

Her words broke everyone's hearts. For the past month, everyone tried to continue their lives but it was so difficult without Jake around. Neteyam missed flying with his dad. Lo’ak strangely missed being scolded by him. Kiri missed their late night talks. And neytiri. 

Neytiri misses her mate more than she could ever express. But she knows, Neytiri knows she is a coward to not face him as he is. 

A sky demon. 

“I want daddy!! I want him home! I wanna play with him, I wanna be carried. I want daddy to sing me to sleep even though he is terrible! I miss daddy!” 

How can they really shush when they all feel the same? 

“Ssshhh, hey, its still day time, let's go see him. We can all go see dad together” Lo’ak suggests quickly. That made tuk silence a bit, small hiccups following, but she aggressively nodded. Liking the idea, the rest of the siblings were quick to get whatever they needed to go see their dad at the lab. 

“Come on mom, let's go see him” Kiri says, excitedly grabbing her mothers hand. But neytiri stays put. “You go on ahead, take your time” she says. But kiri halted a second, tilting her head slightly. “Don't you want to see dad too? Surely you must miss him a lot more than us” she says, but her mother looks in a different direction, not able to make eye contact. Tugging her hand, kiri gently, yet forcefully, drags neytiri out of their home. Smiling brightly, to encourage her mother, “lets go, we can do something together, all of us as a family”. 

Neytiri looks at her daughter, and decides to follow. But the ever growing dread rumbles in her stomach.

“There there baby girl, don't need to cry. Accidents happen and we learn from them” Jake effortlessly soothes tuk. The little girl sniffed and controlled her tears better. Despite being bigger, tuk was snuggled up against Jake's chest, hearing his heartbeat. This was what she wanted. To be close with her dad again. And being so touch starved, she clinged on to him the most. 

“See, all better huh? Come on, let me see that smile. What is a mouse's favorite food?” Jake asks. Tuk gasped happily, she knows this one! 

“Cheese!” Tuk smiles happily, her tears and sadness washed away. Jake chuckles as holds her tighter. “That's right baby girl” Jake praises. Gently he rubs his forehead against hers, making tuk giggle in glee. His other children surround them, happy to see tuk calm and back to her happy self. Neytiri stood a bit distant, but calmed herself. Jake always knew how to calm their youngest baby. 

“What are you coming home dad? We miss you. I miss you a lot” Tuk whines a bit. Jake couldn't help but frown a bit. “I am not sure when tuktuk. Until uncle norm can find a way, I am like this” Jake answers honestly. But that wasn't enough for tuk. Growling a bit, she huffs. Like a little hamster. 

“Why can't you come home as you are? Spider can go wherever he wants. Why can't you do the same? There are a lot of masks” she asks stubbornly as she crosses her arms. 

Spider, who was beside Kiri, couldn't help but feel sad for jake. The man is in a worse position than he ever was. 

“True, but unlike spiders. I can't run, I can't even stand baby girl. My legs don't work like they used to” Jake answers with all the patience in the world. Tuk looks down at his legs, well what she can see since was wearing pants. Her ears pinned down, hating it more by the second. 

“Can't Eywa fix this? Doesn't she always help like mom says?” Tuk asks more, a little hope rising. Kiri shakes her head and goes over, gently placing a hand over tuk’s shoulder. 

“It doesn't work like that tuk. Our great mother doesn't just grant miracles like that. This is something that must be solved by uncle norm and the other scientists. They did this, so it is only right they find a solution themselves” kiri tells. 

But it seems that no matter how much they explain, tuk will still remain stubborn about bringing Jake back to their home. She understands the complications, but would rather refuse to see it. Like daughter, like mother. As in a way, tuk reflects what neytiri is doing. Avoiding the real problem. So Jake does his best to hold tuk, whispering comforting words into her ear. Which can only work for so long. 

At the same time, lo’ak turns and sees neytiri slowly, yet surly moving farther away. Confused at what she is doing, he goes over. “Mom? Don't you want to get close to dad?” he asks her in a low voice only for her to hear. But neytiri doesn't answer right away. Looking behind him and back at him, she answers in the same low voice. “I am fine, we are here for you and your siblings”. 

Jake noticed the silent conversation happening between his son and wife. It still hurts him that neytiri left only to come back using their kids as an excuse. It seems like real talk is long overdue. Gently moving tuk at his side, he effortlessly climbs back on his wheelchair. 

“Dad?” Neteyam calls out, curious what Jake will do. Smiling like nothing, Jake says, “Hey, why not bother the science guys? They have been playing pac-man all days. But dont break anything”. Giving full permission, they all smile and head off to bother the humans. Spider calls out to lo’ak to join them and he happily does. 

Leaving Neytiri and Jake alone. 

“Let's talk outside, yeah?”

The couple stood outside, as far as Jake's wheelchair allows to. He scratches the edges of the mask. He forgot what it felt like against his skin. It's itchy and uncomfortable. But he bares it. If it meant talking to his mate. 

“Neytiri….baby please. Why won't you look at me?” he asks. Before him, neytiri’s back was facing him. Rubbing her arms to comfort herself. 

“I'm sorry ma’jake…I can't” she confesses. Hesitant heavy in her tone. 

“Can't…or won't?” he confronts. She flinches. And he noticed. Sighing, Jake rubs the back of his neck. The straps itching his upper neck. “I know it's hard. Trust me I know. I had to learn everything again. That i'm…back to this. A useless being” . 

And neytiri couldn't bring herself to defend her mate. As twisted as it may sound. He was right. Jake couldn't do anything without his avatar. He could run, fight, or run a village. He couldn't do anything before the war. 

“But I know that being crippled is the least of your worries. The kids know, I know why you won't look at me. It's because I am back to being what you hate”. 

Don't say it. Please don't. 

“I am…” 

Stop it. 

“A sky demon”. 

“NO!” 

All that had wings, flew away. Startled by the sudden shriek of protest. 

What stance in silence is netyiri fully facing jake. Her fists clenching, heavy breathing, and eyes wide with inner thoughts that scramble to make sense. 

“Back at the secret base. When I passed out from the pandora air. You crawled in and saved me. Placed the mask over my face to let me breathe. You held me in your arms. You saw me. You SAW ME. A human. Looking past my avatar body. Accepting the truth, you feel for a human”. 

The more Jake spoke, the more his voice cracked. The more tears wanted to escape. 

“Why can't you now…?” 

Yes. Why couldn't she? 

“I don't know” was all she could say. No ounce of anger, resentment. Nothing. 

Nodding, but not fully understanding her words. Jake can only repeat it. “You don't know….so who else? Eywa cant help me with this. She helped me greatly before. And even I know, great miracles cant happen twice to the same person. It  must be earned. Fucking shit now I dont know what Im saying”. 

More silence fell between the two. Unsure of what to say. 

“Maybe it was a stupid mistake on my part. Letting myself be the guinea pig for the science guys experiment. I didn't know this would happen to me. I don't know myself” Jake says. Feeling more frustrated by the second. 

But again, he only received silence from neytiri. 

“Neytiri please, talk to me. I can't be the only one spewing out words” he begs. 

“If seeing me like this disgusts you-” 

“It does”. 

Now it was Jake's turn to be silent. 

“Your body disgusts me. I cannot see you as human. To me, you have always been na’vi. An Omatikaya. To see you as human, I am reminded of the past. What they did to our home. To my family. I refuse to look at you for the sake of protecting my memories of you. I will not look back at the past only to see you as human. I will, always will, remember and see you as na’vi. Nothing else”. 

There, she said it. All that had to be said. 

“And now…I see you as one of them”

2 more months have passed and there was no sign of things getting better. The village has grown wary of their absent olo’eyktan that Tsarem had taken the title as temporary. But even still, it can only keep the peace for so long. 

A peace that is fragile. So fragile, it can break at any moment, and chaos will ensue. 

A chaos the sully family is facing every day. Without Jake around, it has become harder to contain their four wild children. Lo’ak has taken more reckless adventures, tuk has been throwing more temper tantrums, kiri has shut down her emotions, and neteyam has become lost in what to do. And each problem took a toll on neytiri. The only time any of them behave is when they visit Jake back at the lab. 

The lab has become more of a home for the kids than back at their marui. 

Yet still, neytiri cant bring herself to go there often like her children. After her last conversation with Jake, confessing how she felt. Never again did she go back to see him. Still playing back the memories of when he was na’vi. Wanting to preserve that form of jake. Pretending he was around, doing his duties to the clan, pretending he was there beside her as she sleeps. 

Pretending everything is ok. 

And it is getting harder to play pretend. 

Until the day came, Jake snapped.

“Bro, do you think they will ever find a way to get dad back to being na’vi? Lo’ak asks. As each day passes, he notices the distance between his parents grow larger. His family is slowly being ripped apart. Lo’ak wishes for his dad to go back to being na’vi. With him back, everything will be ok again. 

It has too. 

“I'm not sure baby bro. But they are smart, Perhaps it takes longer to find a cure. It's not forever, I can feel it” neteyam encourages, But their little chit chat was cut short. They heard alarms going off at the lab. Running quickly, they find their father.

On the ground. 

Crawling. 

And without a mask. 

They were quick to be at his side, Jake was shaking uncontrollably, gasping heavily. Making inconceivable sounds. It was a scary sight. 

“Come on! We have to get him inside!” Neteyam picked up his dad by the legs, lo’ak by the arms. But as soon as they picked him up, spider ran outside with a spare mask. “Here here here!” spider quickly placed the mask on Jake, strapping it around his head really well. Guiding the brothers to put their dad down, they all sat in silence, anxiously waiting for Jake to respond. 

And what felt like forever, Jake gasped into the mask, taking deep slow breathes. The boys released huge breaths as well. Not realizing they were holding it in. 

“Dad, are you crazy!? What were you thinking?!” lo’ak was the first to yell at his father. Jake didn't mind. Letting it slide for now. 

“Thinking about your mom. If she isnt coming to me. Then god damn it I am going to her whether she likes it or not”.

At the sully marui, kiri and tuk were playing in silence as neytiri laid in her hammock, swaying absent minded. Kiri noticed how dull thing became. Their father brought life, structure, and happiness in their family. Kiri desperately wishes he would come back soon.

“DAD'S BACK!!” 

Damn that was soon. 

She and tuk looked down to see neteyam carrying their father in his back. In a hurry, the sisters helped bringing their dad inside of their home. Excited and happy he returned. Even in his small weak form .

Jake sat in the middle of their home, all of his kids talking at the same time. Tuk chanting “daddy's home” over and over. Lo’ak saying how stupid move it was to risk his life like that. Neteyam and Kiri being worried over nothing. He missed this. But the one thing he missed more. Was his wife. 

And neytiri, upon hearing the commotion, stood to see Jake there. In their home, smiling as their children talk to him. Their eyes meet. A wordless exchange was made. But quickly, and again, she looks away. 

“I'm not going anywhere, baby. I'm here to stay. Where I belong. Human or not” Jake states. He said it loud and clear, enough for her ears to point in his direction. Tuk jumps excitedly as she goes over and grabs her mothers hand,“Isn't that good mama? He can stay with us forever and ever!”. 

No, it's not good. 

“Dad is human obviously some stuff will change but he is back mom. We don't have to move back and forth, and we can play games like always, "Neteyam says, with new hope and happiness rising in his heart. All of the kids were feeling that. They can vision it. 

“No, he has to go back. Its not safe for him here. Nowhere is safe out here for him” Neytiri denies. Many begin to complain but they don't know what she sees. So many things can go wrong. Jake cant even climb up without help. It takes only one wrong move and he falls to his death. Or his oxygen tank runs out and no one is near to get him an extra. Death is easier to reach him now, easier to take him away entirely. And only then, would neytiri reach a new low in her life. 

“Then I will have to adapt, dont I? I won't be some damsel in distress” 

Neytiri internally groans. But she is grateful her husband still has  his stupid sense of humor. 

And things did shifted. 

Now Jake spends more time in the marui and neytiri spends more time at the lab. What is she doing over there? Secretly threatening the poor humans to hurry up and solve Jake's human problem. Her threats gotten so out of hand that Mo'at had to intervene. 

“Daring to send thanators after them? Have you lost your mind my daughter?” Mo’at asks neytiri in a stern but calm voice. Despite what expression the tsahik has, she is clearly pissed. Like a child, Neytiri sits still, stubborn and mad that she was caught. Mo’at sits across from her, examining her daughter's facial features, reading her like an open script. 

“Those humans are taking too long. They started their unwanted mess, so they should fix it” neytiri says. And mo’at can only sigh in annoyance. “Fix, fix fix, that is all you have said since the beginning. What is there to fix? Their machine?” Mo’at asks. Shaking her head, neytiri provides more. 

“Not that….Jake….he is not na’vi. He is not MINE anymore” 

This confuses her mother, neytiri goes on. 

“I have looked into the Eywa, seeking, hoping for an answer. I wanted her to help him as she did before. Yet Jake was right, nothing is done twice. I fear many things sa’nu. I fear losing my family. My mind. My mate….I cannot make tayshlu anymore with him. Yes, I can hold him close to me, but every time I see him. All I see is those disgusting, vile, sky demons. I feel utter disgust. The need to hurt him. To dig into his chest and bring out his na’vi body. Destroy his human shell, burn it, rip it apart.  I want him back to how he was. One of us. I fear my inner feelings will soon rise, and that I make a grave mistake that can never be taken back”. 

Hearing all that. It concerned Mo'at greatly. Those are dark thoughts that must be vanquished, if it grows more, she fears it will blind neytiri greatly. 

“What is preventing you child?” she whispers. 

Neytiri took a few seconds of silence, a small smile crept up to her lips. “His eyes…Jake's eyes are what prevents me from losing it all”. 

She goes on. 

“Jake’s eyes are the color of the sky. Very blue, and very beautiful. When I look into his eyes, I can only look for so long. They hold purity. If I stare into them for a long time, I might taint them with all the horrors I have seen. His blue eyes are pure sa’nok. Pure and good, but his body is not”.

Letting her words ponder in Neytiri's mind, she left. But mo’at prays to Eywa that her daughter won't make a foolish choice. 

 

Entering her home, there was warm light, the smell of something delicious cooking, and laughter. Opening the flaps, she sees Jake telling a story as their children all listen carefully. 

“And then, the lorax said…” 

Just hearing that word, Neytiri knows exactly what story Jake is telling. Their children might be too old to hear it, but the Lorax story was one of her personal favorites. She hasn't heard it in a long time. 

Neteyam looks up and notices her, waving his arm and everyone turns to see her. All warm smiles, welcoming her in. Jake looks at her, his patient and stupid smile, his blue eyes staring deep into her eyes. “Come in baby, I was just getting into the good part of the story” he says, kiri serving a bowl of their dinner to her, neytiri accepts as she makes herself comfortable on the opposite side of jake. 

“What story are you telling?” she asks, and in unison, her family happily responds, “the lorax!”. Smiling slightly, she listens. Letting jake continue his story, his voice soft and calm. His way of talking never changed. Always so calm and peaceful. If she closes her eyes, it will be just like how it was. 

Some time has passed, and neytiri was able to stare at Jake longer and more comfortably. Talking more like how they used to, while she is still hesitant to touch him for long periods of time, she is forever grateful how patient Jake is with her. But it seems her children haven't changed much, they are still themselves. Yet just as foolish as their father. 

“Tonight, the children will stay with mo’at” neytiri says one morning, Jake pauses what he was doing and looks over at his mate. “Oh? May I know why?” he asks curiously, seeing how neytiri’s tail was moving, he grins. 

“I thought we could use a little break from them. And just be the two of us-” 

“You want a date night” 

“Yes” 

A burst of laughter erupts in the home, Jake knows her too well. He can read her mind at this point. Looking over, he can see her beautiful smile returning. Bright and lovely. Making his way over with big leaps with his hands, neytiri gets closer. Her eyes staring into his. “You could have said that from the start,” he says. Neytiri places her forehead against his. “Not fun” she says. 

Looking into Neytiri's eyes, he knows what she wants. Who is he to deny her. 

Loosening the straps, he starts to take off the mask. Neytiri sees this and starts to panic, “ma’jake what are you doing? No, stop it!” She holds the mask. 

“Come on baby, what's fun without some risks?” Jake asks playfully.. Taking it off completely, he brings neytiri’s face close to his and kisses her with all the love and passion he had for her. Neytiri wanted to pull away, but felt his lips on her. She caved in, her hand on the back of his head, deepening the kiss. 

What felt like forever, they pulled away. Jake was quick to put the mask on, smirking. “See? I'm fine, but I don't mind another one”. 

Scoffing, she grins, “you skxawng” 

 “your skxawng”.

Night fell, the two mates held each other close. Neytiri sighed happily, she likes this. Likes holding jake in her arms, for once she can top him. Taking in his features more and more, she wanted to admire his good looks. His hair did grew out, and lofts to run her fingers through them. So soft and lovely. His arms strong and muscular, his confident smile ever so contagious. 

“Even if the science guys cant fix me-” 

“No, not fix. Cannot fix something that is not broken” 

Jake looks up at her, surprised but a welcoming one. Brining himself closer into her arms, both let their love and peace lure them into sleep. Happily welcoming what becomes of their new normal. 

Yet as they sleep, they didnt notice Jake’s tablet flashing a light. A message from norm. 

Aaaaaaaaaaaand that is it for this one! NGL I had fun writing this one. Took me a bit but I am glad how it turned out. Until next time! See ya!

[abyssalzones]

[1/3] Hello! My apologies, I'm not sure how the best way to approach this is, so I hope you'll bear with me. I have been struggling with some thoughts surrounding Ford and Fiddleford that I haven't really been sure how to parse, and I am genuinely interested in your opinion. I mean this in good faith, an open mind to learn, and from the perspective of someone who really enjoys your depictions of these two characters. Especially in your review/analysis of the Book of Bill, I really agree with the way you describe Fiddleford's significance to Ford and how their relationship with each other is.

I'm going to keep this fairly short and simple because my feelings on it are honestly not that complex, but I do really appreciate you coming to me with an open mind and explaining your own perspective. The truth is that I really don't think anything Bill did to Ford is equivalent to what Ford did to Fiddleford- which is not to say we're setting a standard for abuse at "the most extreme shit ever", but more that... I just don't see any evidence for it, whether that's textually or thematically.

Don't get me wrong- Ford definitely treated Fiddleford unfairly at certain points in the story. It's a major part of why their reunion feels all the more satisfying... but I think that has less to do with Ford not respecting Fiddleford and can be attributed largely to Bill's manipulation driving a wedge between them both. Ford and Fiddleford are, objectively speaking, equal partners: they were roommates in college, Fiddleford drove up to Oregon and stayed of his own accord to help Ford with what would become their portal project, and when shit gets to be too much, Fiddleford leaves. It's clear that even outside of a romantic interpretation they make for very good friends, something that to me is clearly not just a boss-employee relationship.

So the biggest faults in how Ford treats Fiddleford boil down to two things: a lack of trust ingrained from childhood bullying, and the evilest motherfucker in the world sitting on his shoulder and whispering lies into his ear. When Ford gives Fiddleford a stack of equations to work on, he's working himself to death just as hard if not harder. When he mixes up his Cubic's cube, he's playfully messing with him and potentially not understanding that it really is bothering him (if it is.) And later, when things start to truly unravel, Ford's rash behavior (leaving him at the diner, yelling WELL FINE I DON'T NEED YOU I DON'T NEED ANYONE >:(, etc) it's Bill's influence well and truly consuming him and successfully isolating him from someone he had a once-healthy relationship with. hell, even in the journal's small segment about the "a better world" dimension, Fiddleford and Ford eventually make up and become business partners after the success of their portal project, regardless of everything that happened between them- with a way shorter timeframe between those things than in canon.

Idk I just think that while it's true Ford has flaws I think that's true of... any other character on earth? and I just personally can't see a reading of their dynamic that's abusive being true. and that's not only for textual, canonical reasons but a matter of framing between Bill & Ford vs Fidds & Ford. I think "well abused people are capable of abuse too!" is a fair point to make but in this context seems superfluous and really committed to this idea that Ford is just as bad of a person as Bill, or something, that often happens with abuse victims in or out of fiction.

but that's just me

[lara-cairncross]

Just like many others, your AU put me back into my fairy phase :)

I had the original three movies on DVD and literally watched them all the time when I was younger, so much so that I’m quoting everything on my rewatch now, even the sound effects 😂.

Also, as a kid, I never liked Vidia, she was always too mean for me. But now she’s probably my favorite (which is insanely hard to chose given that I love all of them so much, they’re iconic), and I can’t tell if it’s because I’ve grown up, or because I’m naturally inclined to like Fast Flying Fairies now because of your Leo 😭

I just have a few little questions too

In the first movie, we see Queen Clarion gives Tinkerbell pixie dust and teaches her to fly for the first time.

How painful do you think it was for Donnie to be unable to do that when all his brothers could?

And what were the reactions of the other fairies? Were they shocked to see his wing?

Sorry for the long ask! Thank you for bringing this amazing story to life! 🫶

SQUEEE YES YES YES IM SO GLAD I GOT SO MANY PEOPLE TO WATCH THE MOVIES AGAIN!!! I'm pretty sure I had all of them on DVD when I was little? Barring the Neverbeast, I think, since I'd kinda grown out of the Pixie Hollow fairies by then :,)

Fun fact: Vidia was always one of my favorite fairies, even as a kid!!! Honestly, looking back it's,,,, probably mostly because I was gay for her but like WHATEVER SHE'S STILL A FANTASTIC CHARACTER AND I LOVE THE DYNAMIC WITH HER AND TINK AND I ALWAYS THOUGHT SHE WAS COOL BECAUSE SHE WAS ONE OF THE ONLY FAIRIES WEARING PANTS AND AS A SEVEN YEAR OLD I THOUGHT THAT WAS REVOLUTIONARY FOR SOME REASON LMAO

To answer your questions: it would definitely be emotionally painful for Donnie to watch that happen, but honestly, he'd probably be a lot more confused than anything at first? Keep in mind-- learning to fly is like, the FIRST think Tinkerbell is taught to do when she arrives in Pixie Hollow. She didn't know anything else! Little newly-born Donnie would probably just be really confused as to why his brothers are learning to fly and he isn't :( later on, once the initial shock has worn off, someone would probably gently explain to Donnie and his bros about the significance of the damage to his wing.

So, yes, definitely painful! But probably not immediately. Honestly, all four of them would just be really confused at first-- like, "hey, why aren't you teaching Dee too?"-- and then the explanation + additional context would finally help them understand. Then BOOM feelings

[minsungchronology]

My Personal Opinions on Minsung's Dynamic (2024)

Disclaimer: I am not trying to pass off my opinions as facts. This is my personal interpretation of what is laid out right in front of us. I could be completely off base because I don’t know these guys personally, so take this with a grain of salt and feel free to disagree!

THE YEARS KEEP GETTING LONGER 🫠

I honestly thought this year would be shorter than last year because of the long break Skz had during the first couple of months, but luckily Minsung have been Minsunging enough to make my video the length that it is.

But as far as Lee Know and Han's interactions go, I feel like they - Han in particular, especially - look at some of the songs he’s released this year - found their footing/identity, at least compared to prior years. Lee Know is noticeably more playful with Han (on camera, at least). They seem a lot more comfortable to show that side of themselves.

Except for a few mentions here and there, they remain quite private and guarded about their hangouts. 80% of the time; it’s ALWAYS fans asking them about their hangouts or sightings. They hardly ever bring it up themselves. What came as a surprise and caught me off guard (not really surprising when you think about it) is them MOVING IN TOGETHER. It came out of left field, but it’s very much them.

We also kicked off this year with the Two Kids Show episode and since then (if my and some other peoples’ thoughts about them are correct) they haven't been shy about showing/telling how much they mean to each other and how special their bond is.

I was one of the people who were skeptical about Hold My Hand having anything to do with Lee Know until I saw the repetitive stages (the transition of LK and Han shaking/holding each others hands, Han literally saying “Minho Hyung, hold my hand” while catching LK off guard the first time he did it, and THEN Han saying that the fans understood what he was trying to convey with the song - outside of the more obvious overall meaning of it being an ode from his current self to his past self.

I’m certain some of the members and others have seen the many international fan theories about Han’s song. (At the very least Chan would have, and he would have relayed it to Han, but I think Han would likely try to look at the many different theories across social media on his own for a song he wrote himself.) I also wonder if Korean fans were theorizing as hard as international fans were and what they came up with if they did.

When putting all of that together, it comes across a certain way and Han himself knows that. (If they are purely platonic, it would mean they don't mind that some fans perceive them that way. In that case, more power to them and the fans that ship them.)

People can write this behavior alone off as FS (which I think they’re taking advantage of if you see my 2023 opinions and what I'm about to say later on in this essay). But, to me, it doesn’t explain away the many other things we’ve witnessed them do.

One moment I thought was interesting in the body-language-never-lies department (during the Bocau concert) was when Lee Know was waving his mic toward the audience when the members were taking turns singing their part of the song. As SOON AS HAN APPEARS ON THE SCREEN, he STOPS and his full attention is now on him, completely away from the fans. Then, he returns his attention to the fans when the screen switches to another member lmfao. Like, these two legitimately care about each other so much.

Then, there’s the “STAY Let’s be together for 100,000 years” Big Baby/Little Baby YT Live where the two were all huddled up and close. Han saying “We live together!” and seeming gleeful about that fact in a concert (where he answers the fan’s sign) is so sweet.

Some moments I found really funny:

-The happenings (if ykyk) at the SBS Gayo Daejeon Summer concert. What were they thinking- like, girl, what the fuck-

-Han checks LK out and goes "Oh!" when he crouches down during Day 3 of the Seoul concerts and does a full circle around to appreciate the view. 😃🔫

-And, whatever this was:

From all of the concert & fan meet footage we’ve got this year alone (and holy shit, there’s a lot). There’s literally no reason to think that they secretly dislike each other (you'll have people trying to insinuate that as pushback against the more passionate shippers). At the very least, they have a special bond/friendship. You can fake getting along with someone on a basic level on camera, but to have this much chemistry and gravitation towards each other - a lot of it is really subconscious, too - (i.e. They’re always looking at each other when something funny happens/when one gets embarrassed, they always talk to each other during the ‘ments, LK always uses Han as a fidget toy, etc.) can’t be faked and not with the amount of footage we’ve seen of them for nearly a decade.

I also wanted to make an interesting parallel:

Plenty of people (at least the ones curious about inter-group dating) know about Seungho and B.nish of D.I.P. They came out as an actual couple on Instagram Live a few years back, and they've been dating each other since they were trainees, as of that Live.

A few weeks ago, I was thinking about those two when working on the video, and the age-old question, "If two bandmates were “secretly" dating within a group, would they try to interact as little as possible or hide in plain sight?" came up. My opinion has always been that it depends on the individuals involved in the relationship and the types of people around them (different people with different personalities and lived experiences won't always approach something like this in the same way).

Sooooo I did a little bit of digging to see how those two interacted on camera and came across this video:

Look at 4:54, 6:05, and 6:52 (B.nish is the cute guy with the black shirt/orange patterns and Seungho is the guy with the blonde hair with shaved sides and leopard outfit). Or just watch the whole thing cause there are many little moments throughout the video.

The part where they link arms at 6:05 with one another reminds me of LK and Han linking arms in SKZ Code EP59 (around 1:11:35 in the chronology video where they played sports). 😭

Then, I went on Vlivearchives to check out their page to see how they would interact in unedited content that spans for a long time ~ which we’ve also seen Minsung interact in: the concerts and live streams, for example.

Link (B.nish is green shirt dude and Seungho is black hat dude) - Skip to 27:49-28:00, 34:58-35:09, 36:30, 40:15-41:03 and look at their body language compared to the other members (or look at 27:49 to the end if you have time).

and Link (B.nish is guy in blue cardigan, Seungho is guy in black t-shirt/black hat) - Skip to 47:00-48:00, 51:48-52:00, 1:17:22-1:18:03

AND OH MY GOD LOOK AT THEM!!! The vlives remind me of how Han/LK behaved in the YT live where they came up with the big baby/little baby nickname!!! BN/SH behavior also really mirrors how LK/Han are during concerts and how their body language - even when they're not speaking - says a lot.

So,,, the point is that I'm still on the side that thinks idols can absolutely take advantage of skinship (something not unusual between male friends in Korea, and especially in the environment where idols are in) and/or shipping culture to hide in plain sight. On the other hand, I think some people would try to hide away from the camera as much as possible. It really depends on the person at the end of the day! If there were more confirmed instances where two members in a K-pop group date each other, we could get a better overall representation of how they would handle this and how it would look on camera.

In addition: SNH 48, a C-pop girl group, I can name TWO instances where intergroup dating has occurred:

The member who cheated on a member with ANOTHER member (some of us might know about this haha) - the two members in the original relationship had a VERY fanservice-y stage (Link).

FengXiaoFei&WangJiaLing (the link is a compilation of some of their interactions. They came out as a couple after graduating from/leaving the group. Fans have speculated about them long before they came out cause they weren't hiding it. 🤯)

[red-pill-to-swallow]

Doing your part in a relationship

Hey babes,

it’s Monday – a new, fresh week and the ultimate opportunity to make some changes.

I don’t know why it feels so much better to start a new routine on a Monday than it does on a random Wednesday.

I took some time after I posted my last two posts and really thought about the relationship dynamic between my man and me.

I thought about changes that I would like to make and what could help us to become a better couple.

Honestly, I was pretty shocked after all my thinking because it turns out that my man is the rock in this relationship and I am not sure why he is still sticking around when he could probably do so much better.

But let me explain:

I gave up working in my full-time job around January 2023 and have been home ever since then.

My man was aware that I was totally burned out from my job and offered me that I could stay at home and take care of the household chores.

Previously we used to split the chores around the house roughly 50/50. It was very fair and in some weeks he did more than me and some weeks I did more than him, like it’s in every relationship.

I would say that I am fairly good at housekeeping. I know how to cook, how to clean and how to do laundry.

However – I never before was responsible for everything. From going grocery shopping and planning meals to cleaning the bathrooms every week – suddenly all of this was on me.

I struggle really bad with organizing myself, this was one of the reasons why I was so burned out from my previous job, and I started slacking.

I would do the laundry one day and take three days before I started folding it. My man literally had no underwear one time and flipped out because that’s obviously disgusting and instead of improving – I started to get mad at him.

It wasn’t only the laundry, it also began affecting my cooking – which I loved doing before – and I would start making only frozen meals or just serving cold meat cuts with bread.

We started fighting a lot more because my man was sad, that instead of relaxing at home he would need to help me with my chores – after a full workday.

I had my epiphany a few weeks ago (when I made this blog) and realized that my man has every right to be mad at me. He does his job. I am not.

So, let’s see – my man works really though hours. He leaves the house early in the morning and comes home in the early evening. He’s usually stressed because his job is very demanding and he is responsible for a lot of people.

Imagine coming home to your girlfriend, who’s staying at home, and almost nothing is done. The fridge isn’t restocked, the floor is dirty and there is no food. After your shower you realize that you have no fresh underwear because your girlfriend didn’t wash any.

I would flip out too.

My behavior was/is borderline disrespectful and I am honestly ashamed because of it. I would have broken up with me if I was him.

But here we are – still together and I don’t plan on dodging this second chance.

I think many girls that want the lifestyle of a spoiled girlfriend or a stay at home girlfriend don’t realize how hard it is to organize a whole household on your own.

Yes, there might be some men out there that are so rich that they don’t mind employing staff to help around the house, but I don’t think that this is achievable for a woman in her twenties without having various high value connections in the right circles. At least I don’t have those connections.

I am responsible for keeping the house clean, making food and going grocery shopping. That takes maybe 5 hours of my day and the rest of the time I can do whatever I want.

My man only wants to come home to a clean, organized house with a stocked fridge and possibly a hot meal on the stove.

Honestly – he is the one that is working his ass off every day, not me.

The worst is, that I even started to neglect my appearance. I used to shave every second day and that slowly progressed to only once a week. I used to color my hair religiously and worked out at least three times a week.

Now I haven’t touched up my hair in over three months, my roots are disgusting and I am very ashamed because of it. I mean, even though my man pays for my beauty appointments – I couldn’t get my ass up.

However, I cleaned our whole house today. From the bottom to the top. It’s spotless. I did laundry and went grocery shopping and I made a plan on how to maintain all of those things.

I won’t share the plan just yet because I want to make sure that I can actually follow it before I share it with you.

What should you take with you after reading this rant?

Be careful that you’re always a responsible partner. Don’t be like me. If you’re telling your partner that you plan on doing something – actually follow through and do it. Don’t disappoint them all the time.

Make sure that you acknowledge what they do for you and thank them for it every once in a while.

It is unattractive to be lazy and not being able to keep up with your standards. It’s unfair to your partner to let yourself go and they have every right to be upset about it.

Think before you speak and start an argument. Are you really right? Is it worth to start an argument about something that is your responsibility?

I mean, my man made it clear in the beginning: If I want to stay at home and live a cozy life – I have to take care of the house while he works and provides for us both.

He does his part of the agreement. Every single day.

I’ve only done my part of the agreement when I felt like it and that is not okay. But I am changing and I know that he has already forgiven me for all the hassle.

See you soon

[mugenmcfugen]

できました！And here's the finale!

Honestly, I can't even explain how nervous I was finishing this. Cold feet syndrome was goddamn so real, apart from dealing with regular adulting, I actually felt myself delaying it further and further on purpose, so there was no other way but storm trough it.

One thing that I think I got kinda right was dynamic between Shiv and Grey Talon. Because, well, we actually have so much lines from them and about them (i mean it's Grey Talon mostly but still).

Vindicta, on other hand, is still enigma. She's this ghost that came back to haunt descendants of a guy that murdered her, however, considering how other characters are approached, everybody seems so... human? And I think she resigned herself of being this vengeful spirit thing rather than being cursed by fate or some other shit. Like, she picked that life for herself. Ironically enough, for my Japanese course, I had to pick Japanese movie to watch and since I really love ''Flower of Carnage'' song, I finally watched ''Lady Snowblood.'' And although Yuki was trained since childhood for her vengeance spree, she was also shown to have really emotional side to her. I have feeling Vindicta is in the same boat. She did great job burying emotions deep inside her and being dedicated to her cause, but one failure in her eyes is something that can throw her off easily.

And subtitles in ''Lady Snowblood'' when 2 characters were describing Yuki from side, was actually ''she's a wallflower''. Not gonna lie, that kinda slapped super hard. It's just being thrown in my face, I swear.

So, that would be it. Of course, when I went on my jazz from 40ties research I found Billie Holiday, and I fell in love with her voice. So it was only logical to use one of her songs again, and this scene popped in my head immediately, I really knew I wanted to end on this note. ''I'll Be Seeing You'' is so goddamn lovely.

Anyways, to keep this post short, thank you all who read trough. This is something that just developed in my brain naturally and I decided to visualize it. It's riddled with tropes, cringe, writing errors, typos, etc... But I guess that's just me. And I had really fun doing this. I'm gonna take break for now to recuperate and refresh my mind, I have more stuff but yeah. Break needed.

Thank you all for sticking trough with me <3.

[strangestofthings12]

This is going to be a very rambling and venty post cause im tired and annoyed and honestly am just using this to vent my anger/hurt. there is going to be stuff that can maybe be seen as anti tommy/bucktommy (please dont tell me a ship name to put i dont care about if they do have an agreed upon ship name right now) so if you dont want that please just move on. i dont want to fight i just want to yell into the void on a stupid throw away account so i dont bring my negativity stew and come out on my main blog where i just want to enjoy my stuff and just keep happy energy. I dont normally post and try and just find someone who explains it better because im not great and getting what im saying across or understood the way i want, so please bear with me. With that said i will move on to what i want to say

Okay so i have been watching 9-1-1 for years and i love and adore it. Its characters and dynamics and i have always loved found family. Now i will admit that i started watching it thinking that Buck and Eddie were a couple and had a son so i was kinda watching for it. Do i think if i didn't start watching thinking that i would ship them still yes 100%. I have always loved their relationship and i have loved watching both Buck and Eddie grow and start to be happy while also having each others back even at the worst times. Sometimes if i think to hard about Eddie and start crying cause I'm very normal about this show and it characters. Now Eddie is my favorite character in the show and at least in my top five overall favorite characters. I love him and his development and i adore seeing how much he does to just do right by Chris even when he messes up you can tell how much he adores that boy and how badly he wants to give Chris the best life possible. I could write essays about Eddie Diaz trying to explain how much i love him and why and i think words would run out before i could finish making people understand. Buddie is my favorite ship (sometimes second depending on my mood. i would say sorry but Henren and Madney will always be amazing ships and sometimes i just cant stop think about them)(Sorry Bathena i love you too i swear i just cant decide if i wanna kiss athena or be adopted by bobby and athena:( Its confusing) and has been for quite awhile and is one of my overall favorites and its one of my comfort ships.

With that context when bi Buck happened i was so insanely happy and i wouldnt shut up about it. it made me sick. i was so happy for Buck and while i think a part of me will always be a little sad Eddie wasnt his first kiss with a guy i dont think either of them are ready for that. i also understand that it wouldnt make sense for how the story is going right now. Now i have nothing against bucktommy in the show. I have watched the kiss scene and sobbed to much to pretend like i hate them or even dislike them. However I genuinely dont care about Tommy. Hes kinda bland and i forget about him half the time and before they brought him back i completely forgot his name. in my mind he was the one that wasnt as much of an asshole to chim and hen as the other two assholes which wasnt saying a lot. Now I dont dislike tommy nor am i going to act like hes irredeemable because neither Chim nor Hen seem to think hes still that guy and while they dont seem super close they seem to get along so clearly, he's not like that anymore. I have nothing that makes me dislike him nor do I like him. He's just there. He's just the guy buck kissed. Thats all he means to me. I would give up his screen time for Ravi or May or Karen in a heartbeat. because i love them cause they mean something to me. I don't think i thought about the fact that people might actually like him especially not more than EDDIE.

This is where the context matters cause i am to my core a one ship per person girly. I might see a ship and people who like it and even think thats not a terrible ship but i will still only look at content for my ship for that person (ie. i ship Destiel (dont say anything bad about them ill cry<3) but i can see the way someone would also ship Dean and Benny or crowley or Cas and Crowley or Mick but i will ignore the ship and move on and look at more Dean and Cas). normally i will just ignore the ship and move on because im not who its for. If it gets annoying in my tag or anything like that ill block it or whoever is annoying me cause its not a them problem that i dont want to see it. When i start to have a problem is when multiple people arent tagging right for whatever reason or people who are being rude about the ship i like because of their ship. When I started seeing Bucktommy stuff more and more in the 9-1-1 tag i went to the buddie tag cause i dont want to see them. my problem is that when im reading on AO3 and click on a fic tagged Buddie where bucktommy get married. it was literally just hurting Eddie. There was stuff before like id be scrolling though the buddie tag here and see someone saying that Tommy is a better character then Eddie and saying that they hope bucktommy is endgame. Whatever block and move on. Just like always but then people who have shipped buddie for years who ive seen talk about them are suddenly saying that they like bucktommy better. People who started watching because of bucktommy saying they dont like Eddie. People are going to have different opinions but it still bugged me. and then i read that and i was just hurt because it was tagged happy ending and i cannot fathom ever thinking Eddie hurting and pining is a happy ending. So i started to get more annoyed and i hate when that happens especially with a show i love and a character i dont dislike so i tried to just move on but more and more people are taking about it then i saw someone saying that they wanted eddie to die so buck and tommy can have Chris.

I just hate that so many people are jumping on the bucktommy train and saying that they like it better than buddie something that is so good and sweet or saying that they like Tommy more than Eddie. I just dont get it cause Tommy is boring. like yeah we now some about him and he flies a helicopter but hes forgettable he could be a completely different person and next to nothing would have to change. We have seen Eddie at his worst and claw his way back up and hes finally letting himself be open and honest and soft. Eddie couldnt be replaced. Now im not saying Tommy can't be an interesting character but as he is right now?? He just isnt. Hes just as bland as every women (minus Taylor and Shannon) Buck and Eddie have dated and been hated on for no reason!!! Like i get that Tommy is a guy and we got canon Bi Buck and people are happy but those same people turn around and shit on Marisol from what ive seen(I could be wrong cause again i have done my best to avoid). Buddie fans arent safe from that either, cause we all know that Buddie fans do that but so many of those people who hated on them and said they didnt want them with anyone else suddenly decided that they were okay if Buck ended up with any guy. I dont know its just weird and i hate how many people are acting like Eddie isnt always going to be better then Tommy. Part of me wanted Tommy to stick around and help Buck and Eddie figure it all out but now?? i honestly just cant wait for him to be gone cause I want to have fun and read fics for my comfort ship and just chill where i can see all of my ships in the show without buck and tommy being everywhere or people saying crap about Eddie.

I have more to say but most of its about how gratifying waiting and seeing where this whole thing goes(Buddie season 8 PLEASE!!) and this is already why to long and i think im just going in circles and none of this makes sense so ima shut up for now and hopefully this will help it not fester and drive me insane and become a tommy hater

Edit: but i also hate that Tommy calls Buck Evan so he already had some stuff against him rip